Storm's a Brewing

Hokay, so.

We just finished our first excursion with the kids. And by kids, I mean all the kids in the school. And let me be clear here-- I didn't know any of them (except maybe, like one) before we started this. So, not knowing any of the freshmen, we took them all to a college campus for a week to build community and so on and so forth. That means from around 7-10:30 at night, we are responsible for them. And we spend nearly every second together. For a week.

Just process that for a second.

First night, the girls on my floor were smoking weed in the dorms. Of course. (I have stories again! I typed to my significant other). Another student climbed out the third story window from a rope made of his sheets. The security guards found him and he told them that he "saw writing on his wall and was afraid." The next night, when he escaped (through a door this time...yay improvement!) he said "it was hot and I get stressed in tropical heat so I asked the security guard if I could go for a run outside and he said it was ok." We are in Colorado.  Hilarious. 

Not so hilarious? Woooo. I am going to have to be a tenacious pit bull of positivity and calm, because a handful of these boys have some serious trust issues. Not that I blame them-- you don't become totally apathetic, attention-seeking, utterly disrespectful, rude, or outrageous if you've had a good life. I'm sure the kids that act the worst are the ones who are the most damaged. No doubt. I know already that kids are going to ignore everything I say. I know already that they are going to walk out. I know I am going to get cussed out.  I know that I am going to have a hell of a time getting them to trust me, and then to respect me. I know I am going to have to be firm and hold my ground, but also be flexible. 

I know I am just going to have to tell them I love them anyway. I have to find the good, harness the energy, and flex it all in the right direction. Luckily, every person on my teaching team is incredible. We all think alike. We all know this is the fight we want to be fighting. We all know it is a war against so many things -- cultural biases and stereotypes, laws, family issues, gangs, poverty.... but that it is a fight we WANT to fight. 

I was in the thick of it before, make no mistake. But I have a feeling that those kids were my training wheels.