I guess I WAS asking for this...

So, I have this kid that was totally great the first week of school. I could tell when he was getting frustrated, but we always found a way to compromise and it was okay. And then I missed a couple days of school for a big event, and when I got back...

All had gone straight to hades. Instead of a kid who'd try, participate, communicate, and do his best work... now my little darling decides that it is great, great fun to:

-- shave his deodorant with the cap, and sprinkle it about
-- twist up all his chapstick and smash it into the floor
-- tear up all my sticky-note money-rewards and blow them across the room with a fan
-- borrow pens from me and then throw them all over the room
-- scream, whistle, sing, sing into the fan
-- curse over and over and over and over to no one in particular
-- roll across tables
-- refuse to answer any questions I ask (you know, particularly heinous ones like "Would you like me to make you a separate project?" or "Did I do something to offend you?" or "What do you need to be successful right now?")
-- mutter under his breath that he is going to transfer out of my "dumb shit class" and then constantly say that everything we are doing is "fucking boring"
-- torment other students
-- throw his school supplies and anything I've printed into the sink and create a mess
-- destroy my fan

Funzies!

So, after day 1 of this, I pulled him out of his last period class, and said, "Hey, you're not in trouble, I'm not mad, I just wanted to talk to you and figure out what's been going on. The first week, you were so great and so detail-oriented and hard-working, and I don't know how I lost you. I want to fix this. Is there anything I did to make you upset?"

To which he responds: I don't have to deal with this shit.
And throws his pen.
And walks out.

Sigh.

We had another meeting with one of the admin, and he was THE SAME GREAT KID.... And then I felt great! And then class started.

And it was even worse.

So, here we go!!! I really, really, REALLY do not want to kick him out. If I can get everyone else in class to ignore the mischief and get bought in .... then maybe he will come around too. I think he's testing me. But every time he says he wants to transfer, I just say, "Nope! I want you and your great brain in my class!"


.... I did say I wanted stories again!

Good to Know

Student A: (not working at all)

Me: A, why aren't you working?

A: I don't want to. I am being lazy.

Me: What? Why?

A: Because this is boring.

Me: It'd be less boring if you'd try. And time would go faster. I think you know this.

A: Mrghghhhhhh.

Me: You know, you were at the (fancy name of the special meeting at our excursion), so you know the statistics. You know what ill-informed people think of you. You hear that story every day. The racism, the stereotyping. The people who assume you'll be nothing and are nothing. You going to feed into that? Or are you going to prove all those jerks wrong and rise above it? You're smart. Prove them wrong. Rise above! Try!

A: (looks at me like he gets it but still, really, really doesn't wanna)

Me: Look, if you don't try, Ima steal your mustache. I'm gonna steal it and wear it and look better than you do.

A: Naw, Miss. You can't.

Me: Whyever not?

A: Cuz you're not Mexican.

Me: So if I was a Mexican woman, I could rock that?

A: (nods)

Good to know.

P.s. After I walked away.... he started working.

Pretty sure it was the mustache part that did it. :)

My family is gorgeous! Gorgeous, I say! And brilliant! And warm and wonderful....

The other day:
Kid looking at my alumni wall: Some of these kids are UGLY!

Me: You're talking about my FAMILY! You just said my family is ugly!!! You know what's gonna happen to you now? Would you like it if I talked about your family that way?

Tough Kid: Awww, Miss is gonna F*** you up!!!

Me: If by "f you up" you mean, "chase around with My Little Pony Stickers" or "annoy you with bad dance moves" .... then yes.