Shine

Can someone please explain to me why it is that women are such bitches?

Why is it that when you get a certain amount of estrogen in a room, all just goes straight to hell?

Now, I'm not saying all of them are. I work with a large amount of women who are phenomenal human beings, real high-quality ladies. They vent and laugh and share. When you're done speaking with them, you feel better about yourself. They are life preservers. They are rays of sunshine. They can become the reason for going to work, for getting up in the morning.

But the rest? Sweet lord tap dancin' in a tin can. What is this?

People always assume that men are competitive, but I think that truly, women are worse. Why? Because when women are competitive, it isn't always overt. There is often no obvious bravado, no chest-thumping. It's a secret war, a quiet war. A manipulative, whispery war of shadows and vicious gossip. Say one thing, do another. And smile. And lie. Oh, hi! Good morning. Fake cheer and big smiles and then? Well, just wait. Turn your back, and see what expression she makes.
Why are there not more women politicians? I know some who'd be fantastic.

Why is it this way?
Why don't I see the menfolk acting like this?
I can see several reasons.

1. They don't care. They have either enough self-confidence that they don't need to put anyone down, or if they don't have a lot of confidence, they are too mellow to really care.
2. They don't want to waste the energy.
3. If they do want to compete, they make it into a fun game, something that unites them more instead of tearing each other down.

Why do women tear each other down? Why must we always be better than someone else? Why can't we just be honest with each other? Why are we always so defensive? Why is it that we always feel like we have something to prove? Why can't we just be happy with ourselves, our progress?

Why can't I just ask a simple question and get a simple answer? Why can't I ask a question without someone assuming it's a loaded one? Why can't we just talk? Why can't we just be real with each other?

Why is this so damn difficult?

When I think about myself, two truths emerge.
1. I love to learn.
2. I love to be helpful.

I went into teaching because of these two things. (Not because I "simply adore the children", although, of course you have to enjoy the little demons to teach.)
But, these core ideas aren't the same for everyone, and I realize that. Some people see education as a buisness, teaching as a competition.

And you know, I'm not perfect. I have a lot of work to do. I am not as efficient as I could be. I don't differenciate as much as I should. I'm still learning to be more patient. I'm learning ways of being more helpful. Of communicating better with my students and my peers. But, I'm aware of my faults. And I'm trying to be better each day, a day a time.

I just wonder-- why can't more of us just... try to reach and pull each other up? Why don't more of us feel good about being helpful instead of hurtful? Why do we assume that if we help someone else shine, that that makes us shine less?

Its like that old proverb about love. You know the one-- the more love you give, the more love you get? When you help someone, when you make someone feel better, or collaborate, or share, or just be a decent human being.... you both shine more brightly.

Why must we always try to take on all the credit to ourselves? Why must we all try to outshine each other?