Narcissus Replies

So Narcissus (that's him, by the way, pretending to be all brooding and serious. Anyone else rolling their eyes with me here?) wrote me back again, almost immediately after I sent him my Poem of Magnitude.

wow.....speechless. Such wordsmithing. I am seriously stunned even with a degree in English Writing and Art (design emphasis) ..simply stunned. Your command of language is superb. :) This is getting interesting!

By the way self-absorbed pretty boys don't volunteer for Big Brother Big Sister. They usually don't give a shit about anything other than themselves.

You really made me smile the way you crafted that response.

Oook. Now I'm officially done. Arius was right. This Professor of Sleaze thinks I'm flirting. Let's look at some possible responses I'd LIKE to send... but won't.

1. Hey, I know. Since I'm so impressed by your degrees (sarcasm emphasis), why don't you send me your whole transcript? I'd love to hear you brag loquaciously about your likely 4.o. Also, can you send a list of recommendations? I'm guessing it includes the president and a rock star or two. Maybe the Pope has you on his prayer list? If not.... he should. You need all the help you can get.
2. No, it's not getting interesting. There's nothing left to say. Other than, maybe "I think you're slimy and repulsive."
3. Do you also volunteer for a soup kitchen that feeds blind orphans? Do you rescue kittens and keep them in your pockets? Do you read to the deaf and dance for the blind? Knowing your intelligence, that last one's probably a yes.
4. Are you sure it was my poetry that made you smile, or were you just looking at your biceps again?

I'm done. No more time, no more responses. I have other people in my life that actually DESERVE poems written about them. Good ones. And by good, I mean praising their virtues. Like Liz, the leggy genius who reminds me of Katherine Heigl. Or Megatron, who is Dynamite. How about Karen, Nancy or Melissa? Each lady on that list has listened to me preach about the woes of teaching and hasn't complained one bit. Or maybe Moonie, who is my favorite person on this whole planet. Or Danimal, who listens to me whine and wheedle almost daily. Or French toast and its deliciousness. All would be better subjects than narcissuses. :)

OH WAIT! I forgot to tell you. When I popped open the computer this morning (oh, who am I kidding here? You all know I don't get up in the morning....) I saw I had not ONE but TWO messages from this fool. TWO. That's....SEVEN e-mails in two days. HA. Anyway, the first one said something about me being "too white bread" for him if I hadn't responded by now.

[Because, clearly, I have no life, no goals or aspirations, no interests or ideas in my pretty little head. I am just sitting at my computer fawning over your gloriousness.]

And then, the second, sent minutes after, said "let me take you to lunch." It's like he realized, magically, that he might have offended me by calling me 'white bread' and had to quickly make amends.
I can just hear him rhyming poorly now..... Oh, wait, pretty young thing! Please don't go! Let me buy you food so I can stare at your lips and my reflection in the window!

Oh, and one last, beautiful detail. No shit, this guy's last name is.....
You are not going to believe this.
Are you ready?

Vains.

Vains! I'm not kidding!

AHAHAHA! Oh god. Again-- no words. I've got nothin'
Mmkay. Composure's back. We all got a good laugh didn't we?
Adventuring on......