Runnin' with Big Dogs & Big Words

Okay brilliant ones, notice anything different here? Eh? Eh?

The title, yo! I am now, officially...an 8th grade teacher! Summon the horns and fling confetti! And then, bring my lovely, and now old, 6th graders back to me! Better yet? I don't have to teach math! Why is that exciting, you ask? Well, potentially (if I'm lucky....very, very lucky) that means I only have ONE LESSON PLAN TO MAKE A DAY! *end line dance*

I... am thrilled. Realistically, I know its still going to be a lot of work.... but I have decided that this year, this year I get to be selfish. I get to focus on me so I don't burn out. I get to take classes and try to get over my Fear of Going to the Gym. I get to write and play and go out with friends and have a life. Because the alternative = Miss J loses her mind. I don't want to end up in some fetid sanatorium somewhere.

Now ask me, Miss J, how much have you prepared for your year thus far? Um. Well, I bought a book of Yo Mama jokes that threatens to bring comedy into the classroom (yes, I did say threatens. There is no fun, no laughter, and certainly no sarcasm once you hit 8th grade). I will be using them to teach my kids wickedly fun (or as my dad would say, "bitchin' ") vocabulary. And they'll have to use the scientific method to figure out each word.

Example:
"Yo mama's so porcine, when I asked for pigs in a blanket, she got back in bed."

HA! Oh god. Its going to be awful. And hilarious. Can you imagine? All of the 8th grade teachers are going to SLAUGHTER me. You just know that every third kid is going to go to their next class and tell the joke to the teacher. ...What worries me is that some of the teachers might not get the jokes... Oh well! They know where to find me! *maniacal laughter*

And...that's about as far as my planning has gone. I have been busy, today, writing poetry for 10 hours. And eating copious amounts of rice krispie treats, and reminding myself how much I love words.

Like lugubrious and rubiate. Overzealous. Renegade. Enigmatic. Ubiquitous. Top new favorite: crepuscular. It sounds SO revolting, doesn't it? Much to my surprise, the word has nothing to do with pus, but in fact, the tendency of animals or beings being out and about during twilight. How great is that? OH! And I learned a new one-- malapropism. This is what Mike Tyson does-- confuses one word with another. When he says "I might just fade into Bolivian" that phrase... malapropism. Great huh? Bust that out at a cocktail party. Well, the word itself. Not malapropisms. If you say "I faced a lot of diversity in my life" and you meant "adversity".... then we will all ridicule you. Gladly.

And now... now, I'm going to go practice my crepuscularity and play in the rain. That's right. It is raining. Another miracle.