Booyah!
After a year of working on it, my website is finally up and running!
There are still a few pages that are in progress, but the brunt is up!
You can check it out by clicking here.
Many thanks to Rob Lane and his friend Christina who helped me get it working!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Dear Arizona
Dear Arizona,
You are not cool. I am not only referring to the 120 degree heat index which led to me keeping my kids in from recess, leaving me with approximately a 10 minute lunch break.
I am not only referring to your politics, which have caused many of my favorite students to move back to Mexico, or to California or New Mexico out of fear of your racist ass.
I am also referring to the fact that two weeks after you infested by bed with FIRE ANTS,(leaving me with giant welts all over my lower quadrants) you felt it necessary to put a scorpion on my comforter. Not cool, Arizona. Not cool.
You need to learn how to make better choices, or we are going to have a serious throw down.
Love,
Miss J
You are not cool. I am not only referring to the 120 degree heat index which led to me keeping my kids in from recess, leaving me with approximately a 10 minute lunch break.
I am not only referring to your politics, which have caused many of my favorite students to move back to Mexico, or to California or New Mexico out of fear of your racist ass.
I am also referring to the fact that two weeks after you infested by bed with FIRE ANTS,(leaving me with giant welts all over my lower quadrants) you felt it necessary to put a scorpion on my comforter. Not cool, Arizona. Not cool.
You need to learn how to make better choices, or we are going to have a serious throw down.
Love,
Miss J
Isn't Education Great?
This post is to remind me that I need to post about Iraq, Jihad, Murder and Suicide.
And no, its not what you think.
Unless you're Mr. Faulkawitz.
And no, its not what you think.
Unless you're Mr. Faulkawitz.
More Visitors!
Today should have been gawd awful, but before AND after out team meeting, I saw a TON of my former kids!
Before: Raul (who once drew a unibrow on his face in 6th grade), Yamaha (who delightfully gave me shit every morning last year) Castro (my "son").
After: Adonis (one of the smartest kids I've ever had), Rosalie (she is my younger, Hispanic twin-- we love all the same books, and have the same sense of humor) the Torres Brothers (one of which is my "Nephew.") and Angel (the one who fell on his face out of the blue last year.)
How can I ever leave this community?
Before: Raul (who once drew a unibrow on his face in 6th grade), Yamaha (who delightfully gave me shit every morning last year) Castro (my "son").
After: Adonis (one of the smartest kids I've ever had), Rosalie (she is my younger, Hispanic twin-- we love all the same books, and have the same sense of humor) the Torres Brothers (one of which is my "Nephew.") and Angel (the one who fell on his face out of the blue last year.)
How can I ever leave this community?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Setting up Rapport on the 1st Days
This is for you teachers out there.....
Here are some of the things that have worked for me, teaching 8th grade Science to a mostly Hispanic population:
1. I have an alumni wall, which I think I've mentioned before. Pictures of my previous students fill up the wall-- some on crazy hair day, or 8th grade promotion. Others show what we did in science. The kids LOVE looking at the wall (which is approx two by eight feet)-- finding some of their older brothers and sisters and some of their friends.
2. I have an about me mini bulletin board where kids can look at pictures I took from trips to Africa, Japan, London etc, see pictures of my family, my pets and so on.
3. There are two "Who We Are" bulletin boards in the back of the room that I invited them to decorate to make the class theirs. Already, they're mostly covered by pictures, drawings, song lyrics, and other things the kids say represent them.
4. I share with them 7 things that most people know about me, and 7 things most people don't know about me--including some things that are very personal--dark spots from my family's history, for example. Other things are my goals, things I love to learn about, things I'm terrible at (sports....), things I hope they teach me. I ask them to do the same and it's amazing how much they share after they heard some darker things from me.
5. When they walk in, they have a letter from a previous year's student telling them what to expect from me, and from the class. Most of the kids say that I'm fun, a total child, but strict. They give advice as to how to succeed. This combined with the pictures on the alumni wall helps them get a feel for my personality.
6. I identify with them. I tell them I'm basically a surly 16 year old, so if someone tells me to do something, my first instinct is to ask why-- especially if I don't know or respect the person. How many of them are like that? All of 'em. So, if they're not sure why I'm asking them to do something, or if it seems pointless or stupid-- if they're respectful, they can ask. And I will have an answer. If I don't, we'll stop. I made a "QUESTION EVERYTHING....respectfully" poster, and tie this into the uniform our school has to wear, and some of other school rules the kids hate.
7. I give a relatively easy quiz at the beginning of the year, in the first week to establish a "Yes I can!" attitude in the kids. I post all the top 10 scorers on my board, and permanently put their names on a bulletin board for each time they make it. There is also a class by class competition tied into this using class averages. The class with the highest average gets 4 points, 3, 2 and 1. At the end of the semester, the class with the highest points gets a pizza party. I also post all 100% scores on a board-- already, I've had 4 girls who said they didn't like science on the first day change their minds because now they think they can...and I can gradually make it harder and push them more.
8. I hold an auction in October--snacks and school supplies. Money consists of 1/3 sticky notes in bright colors that I cut and give to kids anytime they do something I like-- ask a question, answer a question, quietly work, involve others in a discussion, clean up, etc. This way, I can reinforce good behavior right away and work on their ability to delay gratification (behaviorism anybody?)
9. I tell the kids I want their parents numbers (which I can get from the computer anyway) so I can call home and say good things about them. I target the kids who scoff at me first-- they're almost always new and they don't know my rep and don't have one of their own yet. I give then a ton of attention, stickies, praise, and call home within the first couple of days to prove I mean business. After that, they're in my pocket. One student, who scoffed at me hardcore, now gives me a fistbump every day. Today, he said "Best part of my day, comin' up!" Heck yes.
10. My consequences are: 1 a warning, 2 a side conversation wherin I pull you out of class to redirect or ask what is wrong, 3 a student-teacher conference after school to fix what's going on wrong and see if I am doing something to upset them, 4 call home, 5 detention. They like that we work it out multiple times before I involve their parents. Usually, it doesn't get past 3.
11. We practice procedures a LOT. And by a lot, I mean a lot. As the week goes on, I add more, depending on what each class needs. If they see something as a procedure and not as a rule, they're more likely to do it. If they're not, I ask them what the procedure is, and have them redo it calmly. This may mean lining up a class and bringing them all back in if they're being too rowdy. Procedures NEVER STOP! Add and take away more as you go!
12. If students aren't doing what I ask, I always jump in nicely (with my eyebrows up like I'm excited to help) with "Is there a question"? or "can I help you with something" instead of the authoritarian "Why are you talking? Didn't I tell you not to talk!!!!" They either look guilty and stop, or they ask!
13. I write tons of "Positive Referrals." When the kids get them the ISS lady (who is AWESOME and everyone knows her and wants to impress her) or the assistant principal calls home, and tells the parents how awesome their kids are. They also get a certificate, a copy of the referral and a candy bar from her. She comes to the classrooms and presents them and makes a big deal out of how awesome they are.
Here are some of the things that have worked for me, teaching 8th grade Science to a mostly Hispanic population:
1. I have an alumni wall, which I think I've mentioned before. Pictures of my previous students fill up the wall-- some on crazy hair day, or 8th grade promotion. Others show what we did in science. The kids LOVE looking at the wall (which is approx two by eight feet)-- finding some of their older brothers and sisters and some of their friends.
2. I have an about me mini bulletin board where kids can look at pictures I took from trips to Africa, Japan, London etc, see pictures of my family, my pets and so on.
3. There are two "Who We Are" bulletin boards in the back of the room that I invited them to decorate to make the class theirs. Already, they're mostly covered by pictures, drawings, song lyrics, and other things the kids say represent them.
4. I share with them 7 things that most people know about me, and 7 things most people don't know about me--including some things that are very personal--dark spots from my family's history, for example. Other things are my goals, things I love to learn about, things I'm terrible at (sports....), things I hope they teach me. I ask them to do the same and it's amazing how much they share after they heard some darker things from me.
5. When they walk in, they have a letter from a previous year's student telling them what to expect from me, and from the class. Most of the kids say that I'm fun, a total child, but strict. They give advice as to how to succeed. This combined with the pictures on the alumni wall helps them get a feel for my personality.
6. I identify with them. I tell them I'm basically a surly 16 year old, so if someone tells me to do something, my first instinct is to ask why-- especially if I don't know or respect the person. How many of them are like that? All of 'em. So, if they're not sure why I'm asking them to do something, or if it seems pointless or stupid-- if they're respectful, they can ask. And I will have an answer. If I don't, we'll stop. I made a "QUESTION EVERYTHING....respectfully" poster, and tie this into the uniform our school has to wear, and some of other school rules the kids hate.
7. I give a relatively easy quiz at the beginning of the year, in the first week to establish a "Yes I can!" attitude in the kids. I post all the top 10 scorers on my board, and permanently put their names on a bulletin board for each time they make it. There is also a class by class competition tied into this using class averages. The class with the highest average gets 4 points, 3, 2 and 1. At the end of the semester, the class with the highest points gets a pizza party. I also post all 100% scores on a board-- already, I've had 4 girls who said they didn't like science on the first day change their minds because now they think they can...and I can gradually make it harder and push them more.
8. I hold an auction in October--snacks and school supplies. Money consists of 1/3 sticky notes in bright colors that I cut and give to kids anytime they do something I like-- ask a question, answer a question, quietly work, involve others in a discussion, clean up, etc. This way, I can reinforce good behavior right away and work on their ability to delay gratification (behaviorism anybody?)
9. I tell the kids I want their parents numbers (which I can get from the computer anyway) so I can call home and say good things about them. I target the kids who scoff at me first-- they're almost always new and they don't know my rep and don't have one of their own yet. I give then a ton of attention, stickies, praise, and call home within the first couple of days to prove I mean business. After that, they're in my pocket. One student, who scoffed at me hardcore, now gives me a fistbump every day. Today, he said "Best part of my day, comin' up!" Heck yes.
10. My consequences are: 1 a warning, 2 a side conversation wherin I pull you out of class to redirect or ask what is wrong, 3 a student-teacher conference after school to fix what's going on wrong and see if I am doing something to upset them, 4 call home, 5 detention. They like that we work it out multiple times before I involve their parents. Usually, it doesn't get past 3.
11. We practice procedures a LOT. And by a lot, I mean a lot. As the week goes on, I add more, depending on what each class needs. If they see something as a procedure and not as a rule, they're more likely to do it. If they're not, I ask them what the procedure is, and have them redo it calmly. This may mean lining up a class and bringing them all back in if they're being too rowdy. Procedures NEVER STOP! Add and take away more as you go!
12. If students aren't doing what I ask, I always jump in nicely (with my eyebrows up like I'm excited to help) with "Is there a question"? or "can I help you with something" instead of the authoritarian "Why are you talking? Didn't I tell you not to talk!!!!" They either look guilty and stop, or they ask!
13. I write tons of "Positive Referrals." When the kids get them the ISS lady (who is AWESOME and everyone knows her and wants to impress her) or the assistant principal calls home, and tells the parents how awesome their kids are. They also get a certificate, a copy of the referral and a candy bar from her. She comes to the classrooms and presents them and makes a big deal out of how awesome they are.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Shut it: Student Version
Dear New Students,
Please do not complain when I ask you to write a summarizing paragraph after watching a video. Do you know what I have to do?
I have to read horrid sentences like
"They dispel any remaining assumptions we may hold that tracking decisions are systematically objective and rational; they show that arbitrary and idiosyncratic placement decisions are common, and can be related to seat availability in classes or students’ ascribed characteristics."
200 pages of that. And then take notes. And then write a ten page paper analyzing my school through the lens of said crap.
Every week.
So, please. Shut it. You may have it rough at home, but you have no idea what hard work is.
Love,
Miss J
Please do not complain when I ask you to write a summarizing paragraph after watching a video. Do you know what I have to do?
I have to read horrid sentences like
"They dispel any remaining assumptions we may hold that tracking decisions are systematically objective and rational; they show that arbitrary and idiosyncratic placement decisions are common, and can be related to seat availability in classes or students’ ascribed characteristics."
200 pages of that. And then take notes. And then write a ten page paper analyzing my school through the lens of said crap.
Every week.
So, please. Shut it. You may have it rough at home, but you have no idea what hard work is.
Love,
Miss J
Shanked a Rhino
Student: Miss J, you ain't tough.
Me: Pfft. I shanked a rhino once.
Student: Was it already dead?
Me: Well, yeah. But I killed it with my GLARE.
Student: Yeah, your face will do that to a person.
Damn it.
Me: Pfft. I shanked a rhino once.
Student: Was it already dead?
Me: Well, yeah. But I killed it with my GLARE.
Student: Yeah, your face will do that to a person.
Damn it.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Umlaut isn't Sexy....Yet.
Last year, of our students tried to teach us how to create ghetto names. According to I-Sha-Kia, one has to have multiple capitol letters as well as punctuation. (And how can you argue with a girl named I-Sha-Kia?)
Not long after, I learned the name La-a. Of course, being a white girl, I looked at it, puzzled, and thought "La....ah?" Nope.
La. Dash. a.
Hilarious.
So, I've been working on my own ghetto fabulous names.
I will be J'Niqua (as I'm Miss J)
and my "first borns"?
L' and S*.
Oh yeah. Lapostrophe and Sasterisk. (Cuz I'm so sassy.)
If a boy? P&.
Pampersand. He be all KINDSA spoilt.
Not long after, I learned the name La-a. Of course, being a white girl, I looked at it, puzzled, and thought "La....ah?" Nope.
La. Dash. a.
Hilarious.
So, I've been working on my own ghetto fabulous names.
I will be J'Niqua (as I'm Miss J)
and my "first borns"?
L' and S*.
Oh yeah. Lapostrophe and Sasterisk. (Cuz I'm so sassy.)
If a boy? P&.
Pampersand. He be all KINDSA spoilt.
Badass be GONE!
This year, I have a lot of male students who think they are badasses. They're not. But they really think they are, with their skinny jeans and huge hoop earrings (What is with the girl fashion on boys? I am clearly an old person who just does not get it). This does not fly with me. You are not cool unless you can loosen up and laugh at yourself.
So, I have a plan to demolish their stupid egos and turn them into humans that are actually funny and fun to be around. By doing what, you ask? By manipulating them into doing TOTALLY STUPID THINGS!!!
SO far:
1. I convinced a kid that his drawing of a horse needed a horn, because unicorns are way better. He disagreed-- cowboys could not ride unicorns. Unicorns are too fruity. I made stupid noises at him and said "I'm sorry, if there was a big black horse with a huge horn running full speed at me...ready to stab me THROUGH THE HEART because it had a HUGE SWORD on its FACE..... I would be afraid. Unicorns don't have to be pink and sparkly you know. They're actually kind of b-a." He disagreed.I smirked like he didn't know what he was talking about and walked away. Then, when I walked back 5 minutes later, there was a horn drawn on his horse. And--best part-- a rainbow drawn on its butt.
2. I got my unruly last class (which is mostly boys) to sing this: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/0305/video-extr-q-350-03.html with exuberance. Score: Ms J. 1, kiddos naught. Oh yeah-- and that part where the singer says "and skin and BRAIN!"? We all shake our fists to it and amp up the voice. And we may even sway-dance back and forth.... heh heh heh.
3. I bought this totally ridiculous, bright green, googly-eyed, felt hat. It was a couple dollars at Michael's and has a lizard-like appearance with its spikes on the top. Its totally awesome. I call it my Godzilla hat. Knowing teenagers.... I used reverse psychology. I told them I would chase them around with the hat on if they didn't behave. Which triggered all of my too-cool-for-school boys to want to wear it. And they do.
Whatever shall I do next? Heh, heh, heh.
If you have any ideas.... let me know!
So, I have a plan to demolish their stupid egos and turn them into humans that are actually funny and fun to be around. By doing what, you ask? By manipulating them into doing TOTALLY STUPID THINGS!!!
SO far:
1. I convinced a kid that his drawing of a horse needed a horn, because unicorns are way better. He disagreed-- cowboys could not ride unicorns. Unicorns are too fruity. I made stupid noises at him and said "I'm sorry, if there was a big black horse with a huge horn running full speed at me...ready to stab me THROUGH THE HEART because it had a HUGE SWORD on its FACE..... I would be afraid. Unicorns don't have to be pink and sparkly you know. They're actually kind of b-a." He disagreed.I smirked like he didn't know what he was talking about and walked away. Then, when I walked back 5 minutes later, there was a horn drawn on his horse. And--best part-- a rainbow drawn on its butt.
2. I got my unruly last class (which is mostly boys) to sing this: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/0305/video-extr-q-350-03.html with exuberance. Score: Ms J. 1, kiddos naught. Oh yeah-- and that part where the singer says "and skin and BRAIN!"? We all shake our fists to it and amp up the voice. And we may even sway-dance back and forth.... heh heh heh.
3. I bought this totally ridiculous, bright green, googly-eyed, felt hat. It was a couple dollars at Michael's and has a lizard-like appearance with its spikes on the top. Its totally awesome. I call it my Godzilla hat. Knowing teenagers.... I used reverse psychology. I told them I would chase them around with the hat on if they didn't behave. Which triggered all of my too-cool-for-school boys to want to wear it. And they do.
Whatever shall I do next? Heh, heh, heh.
If you have any ideas.... let me know!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Aaaakward!
Dude.
I think one of my former students just half-assedly asked me out. Totally out of the blue.
He's a sophomore.
In high school.
I would laugh if it wasn't so....totally weird.
I feel dirty.
I mean, I know the kids love me, but this is absurd.
I think one of my former students just half-assedly asked me out. Totally out of the blue.
He's a sophomore.
In high school.
I would laugh if it wasn't so....totally weird.
I feel dirty.
I mean, I know the kids love me, but this is absurd.
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Branam!
During my 9-10 block today, I turned into a monster. But not of fury. A monster of giddiness. My assistant principal stuck his head in my door with this "I'm trying to make amends" face, and told me he had a surprise for me. He said something like "I know you would kill me if I didn't bring him to you." And in walked one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE FORMER STUDENTS!
I nearly shrieked with glee-- and I definitely would have if my new kids weren't taking a pre-assessment. This kid made me laugh every single day last year. He's one of those rare humans who is kind of ageless. Acts like a mischievous 5-year-old and a complete grown-up at the same time. A total shit head but knows his limits. He's just awesome. Or maybe he's just like me so we get each other. Who knows.
Anyhow, Branam gave me a huge hug, and my entire class looked at me in a strange kind of shock (what kind of teacher is THAT happy to see a student?). He told me he had really good news, but I was just happy to see a face of someone who got my sense of humor-- that was good enough. But then he told me-- he EXCEEDED on his state science exam! Not passed. Exceeded! And so did his twin brother! I think my face almost fell off I was grinning so much.
"That's incredible! I am so proud of you! Now imagine what you would have accomplished if you actually came to class everyday..."
"Two minutes in and already giving me a hard time," he replied.
Always.
After school he came back and we talked for almost two hours about summer, high school, college, life, family.... and when I went home I couldn't stop smiling. You always hope that you make a difference to kids. They wiggle their way into your heart and you find yourself worrying about them. You hope that they learned something from you-- especially something nonacademic-- something about life. Something about being a good person. About working hard because its worth it. About not giving up even when everything totally sucks.
But you don't always realize how much of a difference they make to you.
I say it all the time, but its true. These kids are my heart. How am I ever going to leave them?
I nearly shrieked with glee-- and I definitely would have if my new kids weren't taking a pre-assessment. This kid made me laugh every single day last year. He's one of those rare humans who is kind of ageless. Acts like a mischievous 5-year-old and a complete grown-up at the same time. A total shit head but knows his limits. He's just awesome. Or maybe he's just like me so we get each other. Who knows.
Anyhow, Branam gave me a huge hug, and my entire class looked at me in a strange kind of shock (what kind of teacher is THAT happy to see a student?). He told me he had really good news, but I was just happy to see a face of someone who got my sense of humor-- that was good enough. But then he told me-- he EXCEEDED on his state science exam! Not passed. Exceeded! And so did his twin brother! I think my face almost fell off I was grinning so much.
"That's incredible! I am so proud of you! Now imagine what you would have accomplished if you actually came to class everyday..."
"Two minutes in and already giving me a hard time," he replied.
Always.
After school he came back and we talked for almost two hours about summer, high school, college, life, family.... and when I went home I couldn't stop smiling. You always hope that you make a difference to kids. They wiggle their way into your heart and you find yourself worrying about them. You hope that they learned something from you-- especially something nonacademic-- something about life. Something about being a good person. About working hard because its worth it. About not giving up even when everything totally sucks.
But you don't always realize how much of a difference they make to you.
I say it all the time, but its true. These kids are my heart. How am I ever going to leave them?
Froward.
Stanley: Hey, don't mess up my 'fro.
Me: Stanley, you don't have a 'fro.
Stanley: It's an afro in training. Give it time.
Me: I look forward to it.
Stanley: You mean.... you look FRO-word to it. Heh heh heh.
I think I'm going to have a lot of Stanley quotes this year.
Me: Stanley, you don't have a 'fro.
Stanley: It's an afro in training. Give it time.
Me: I look forward to it.
Stanley: You mean.... you look FRO-word to it. Heh heh heh.
I think I'm going to have a lot of Stanley quotes this year.
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
That's LEGIT
Student, pointing to the Alumni Wall: Is that Ms. Cary on your wall?
Me: Yup.
Kid: Isn't she with Silver?
Me: WHAT?! No! God. You guys are so behind. I've been with him for two years now.
Kids: WHAT?! YOU STOLE MS CARY'S MAN!
Kid: 2 Years? Damn. That's legit.
Me: Yup.
Kid: Isn't she with Silver?
Me: WHAT?! No! God. You guys are so behind. I've been with him for two years now.
Kids: WHAT?! YOU STOLE MS CARY'S MAN!
Kid: 2 Years? Damn. That's legit.
Buckwheat
So, last year, Stanley, Jerry and I were the only people who would end up at some of the boys' basketball games. We'd cheer our boys on relentlessly, even if they were getting walloped. Stanley loved to shout "BUCKWHEAT!" at any of the uber-white, upper-middle class boys as they were shooting free-throws.
Stanley: Buckwheat!
Me: Say what?! You can't call me buckwheat! I'm one of YOU! You kidding me....
Stanley: (thinks for a second) Can I call everyone else in class buckwheat, and you the baker then?
Me: What?!
Stanley: Cuz we're all the buckwheat-seeds and you're gonna turn us all into bread.
I can't....argue with that.
Stanley: Buckwheat!
Me: Say what?! You can't call me buckwheat! I'm one of YOU! You kidding me....
Stanley: (thinks for a second) Can I call everyone else in class buckwheat, and you the baker then?
Me: What?!
Stanley: Cuz we're all the buckwheat-seeds and you're gonna turn us all into bread.
I can't....argue with that.
Monday, August 02, 2010
Year 5: Day 1
So, I forgot how weird kids are the first day.
1. The noisy ones are quiet because they're trying to figure you out.
2. The new smart-asses scoff at you and are the only ones who don't take your word because they don't know your reputation or have a place in the school yet.
3. They don't laugh at any of your stupid jokes because they don't get you.
4. They don't talk to each other even when you ask them to.
5. The ones who don't believe your reputation try to slyly get away with small infractions to see if you'll notice-- and you better.
6. They eagerly wait to see how you'll deal with the weird, awkward kid who asks too many damn questions.
7. They eagerly wait to see how you'll deal with the kid who's been the jackass in class for last five years.
8. They don't bother saying your name, and refer to you as "Hey you" or "teacher," but because they don't know the other teacher's names that well yet, they don't yet call you by their names.
1 down. 179 to go! Not a bad first day.
1. The noisy ones are quiet because they're trying to figure you out.
2. The new smart-asses scoff at you and are the only ones who don't take your word because they don't know your reputation or have a place in the school yet.
3. They don't laugh at any of your stupid jokes because they don't get you.
4. They don't talk to each other even when you ask them to.
5. The ones who don't believe your reputation try to slyly get away with small infractions to see if you'll notice-- and you better.
6. They eagerly wait to see how you'll deal with the weird, awkward kid who asks too many damn questions.
7. They eagerly wait to see how you'll deal with the kid who's been the jackass in class for last five years.
8. They don't bother saying your name, and refer to you as "Hey you" or "teacher," but because they don't know the other teacher's names that well yet, they don't yet call you by their names.
1 down. 179 to go! Not a bad first day.
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