Badass be GONE!

This year, I have a lot of male students who think they are badasses. They're not. But they really think they are, with their skinny jeans and huge hoop earrings (What is with the girl fashion on boys? I am clearly an old person who just does not get it). This does not fly with me. You are not cool unless you can loosen up and laugh at yourself.

So, I have a plan to demolish their stupid egos and turn them into humans that are actually funny and fun to be around. By doing what, you ask? By manipulating them into doing TOTALLY STUPID THINGS!!!

SO far:

1. I convinced a kid that his drawing of a horse needed a horn, because unicorns are way better. He disagreed-- cowboys could not ride unicorns. Unicorns are too fruity. I made stupid noises at him and said "I'm sorry, if there was a big black horse with a huge horn running full speed at me...ready to stab me THROUGH THE HEART because it had a HUGE SWORD on its FACE..... I would be afraid. Unicorns don't have to be pink and sparkly you know. They're actually kind of b-a." He disagreed.I smirked like he didn't know what he was talking about and walked away. Then, when I walked back 5 minutes later, there was a horn drawn on his horse. And--best part-- a rainbow drawn on its butt.

2. I got my unruly last class (which is mostly boys) to sing this: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/0305/video-extr-q-350-03.html with exuberance. Score: Ms J. 1, kiddos naught. Oh yeah-- and that part where the singer says "and skin and BRAIN!"? We all shake our fists to it and amp up the voice. And we may even sway-dance back and forth.... heh heh heh.

3. I bought this totally ridiculous, bright green, googly-eyed, felt hat. It was a couple dollars at Michael's and has a lizard-like appearance with its spikes on the top. Its totally awesome. I call it my Godzilla hat. Knowing teenagers.... I used reverse psychology. I told them I would chase them around with the hat on if they didn't behave. Which triggered all of my too-cool-for-school boys to want to wear it. And they do.

Whatever shall I do next? Heh, heh, heh.

If you have any ideas.... let me know!