Smell Beyond the Cherry

Well, I wanted to throw in the towel today.
It is that time of year... the honeymoon period is over, the kids are starting to get lazy and apathetic. They are excessively rude to each other, and they're starting to show up drunk to school just to puke all over my room.


WHAT?

Yes.

Let's start at the beginning.

Last Friday, my darling little Napoleon barfed up bright red cherry and SOMETHING all over my table, his test, and the floor. Now, I could easily make the joke that my test makes him want to hurl chunks, but NO....he got a new test and completed the whole thing no problem.

Why do I think he was drunk? Because he was acting weird and out of it beforehand, was grinning after he did it, seemed MORE ALERT and awake after AND.... and here's the most telling part, he CLEANED IT ALL UP. He refused to a) let maintenance do it (they still came later and disinfected everything) AND b) wouldn't let me get anywhere near his neon spew. I think he knew I would be able to smell beyond the cherry.

This has become a new trend at our school. Not much longer than a week ago, one of the pretty popular 8th grade girls was upset upon being caught drunk at school because well, "I only had ONE Bud Light before school!!!"

Are you kidding me?

Apparently their new things is to get their parents to buy them those alcoholic energy drinks. They come in big, Monster-like cans and since their parents don't speak or read English.... they don't know when their kids are drinking right in front of them.

ARGH!!!!

On top of this, last week I found out that a few of my favorite, favorite, favorite kids have basically dropped out of high school because they're addicted to drugs. Probably meth. They won't tell me, but I know its easy to get and meth causes one to lose weight quickly, which is exactly what happened to one of them.

So. Monday rolls around. I am already frustrated, emotional, tired, worn out, and cranky.... (lets not even get into what grad school is putting me through)
....
I go back to my classroom and realize that my SMARTBOARD still IS NOT WORKING. I try to put in another tech request (and this is ironic-- the home page talks about how its "world class IT") and as I am hitting "ENTER" it says HAHAHAH YOU HAVE NO INTERNET.

I try again.
It laughs at me.
It is the damn clown at mini golf.

So, annoyed, I look through my text books and discover there's NOTHING IN THEM THATS USEFUL (big surprise) and that I have NO EQUIPMENT WITH WHICH TO DO A LAB (another big surprise).....So, I dig through my curriculum binders and find something I'd made for last year's kids and think AHA! THIS WILL WORK!

But of course, my plans are thwarted.

All 3 of the copy machines will not work.

I spend 40 minutes of my life screwing with them, down on my hands and knees, covered in toner, grunting like some territorial baboon..... The paper will go through, and only peals of hideous laughter would come out. Ha, ha, Miss J! NO COPIES FOR YOU.


I finally figure something out, moments before I have to pick up my kids, when my homeroom does NOT make my day better. I had given the kids FOREVER to do some work in class (a mitosis project) and in the majority of my classes they DID NOT DO THE WORK THAT WAS DUE TODAY. THREE kids did the work. THREE!! ARGHHHHH!!

AND THEN ONE OF MY BOYS PANTS'D ANOTHER IN ART CLASS AND THE BOY WENT HOME CRYING.


ARGJHHHHHHFKSHDFKLSDJFKSDHFKDSJH!!

In all of my classes for the rest of the day, its the same. The kids are not doing their work. I am furious. I do not yell, I do not scream, but inside my head I am thinking:

I AM NOT DOING AWESOMELY COOL DNA EXTRACTION LABS WITH JERKY LAZY PEOPLE! I AM NOT WRITING YOU STORIES AND SONG PARODIES AND COMING UP WITH NEW DANCES FOR YOU!!! I AM NOT SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS FINDING COOL VIDEO CLIPS AND ANIMATIONS!

You so do not deserve the awesomeness that is me.

So, tomorrow, so that I do not SHANK ANY OF MY CHILDREN...

I am taking the day off.