Promotion

Well, it's that time again. 8th grade promotion. The day couldn't come fast enough, and now that it's here, I'm kind of shocked. I went to dinner last night with a former student-- one I've known since she was a 6th grader, now nearly 4 years ago-- and thought "Wasn't your promotion ceremony just a week ago?" My babies are growing up so fast. My first class of kids will be juniors! How does this happen? I'm having my ten-year high school reunion and they're juniors.

I can see how one could lose 20 years to this job in the blink of an eye. Time speeds up as your body slows down.

Today, to be frightfully cliche, is the closing of a chapter. The kids will give their speeches, we'll all hug and take pictures, I'll clean my already-barren room, and then... I'll be gone.

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Promotion just ended. I cried tureens of tears. Becca, one of my favorites, gave a speech and quoted a letter I had given her earlier this year about never giving up and being a leader, and thanked me for being an inspiration and I criiiiiiied. I walked out the door, bawling my eyes out, into a sea of kids who wanted a picture taken. And of course, some of my favorite kids disappeared before I got to say goodbye to them. Another student's mother thanked me for a good FIVE MINUTES for teaching her daughter high level material, and for never giving up, and for making sure she got a high quality education.

I am exhausted, emotionally drained, and intellectually burnt out. But, strangely, somewhat happy.

Goodbye Rafe, Anthony, Figueroa, Nathaly, Becca, Melissa, Alan, Destiny, Ernesto, Lemus, Alyssa, Nando, Albert, Zyra, Javier, Kevin, Ivonne, Dimples, David, Juan, Sarina....... and all the rest.

Well, Mary didn't have sex at all, and she had ONE kid so...

According to our secretary, a former student (who is now in 10th grade) came in to visit and told her that he was having a girl, or maybe a boy. He wasn't sure. He thought maybe it could be twins. Or triplets. He thought it was probably a couple babies because....

"I got 'er pretty good."

Whaaaaat?! Wait a second.

YOU GOT HER PRETTY GOOD?

You think that. Because you banged your chick hard. That you're having SEVERAL BABIES?


Holy crap. Can we please (for the love of, oh, say, OUR PLANET) teach sex ed?

Elemental Lunch

Tyler: Hey, Alyssa, do you know what we're having for lunch today?
Alyssa: Nope!
Tyler: (sings) There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,
And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium,
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

Alyssa:Sounds good!

Without missing a beat.

Love this class.

Runny

Javier(super smart, funny kid) writes: "As he was runny down the hallway..."
Me: "Runny" down the hallway?
Javier: Yeah.
Me: RUNNY?! Runny. Running. Runny. RunnING.
Javier: Oh crap.
Me: He was what, dripping down the hallway? That's gross.
Javier: I MEANT RUNNING AND YOU KNOW IT.
Me: Oh! I know, I know! He's a slug. He's a slug and he's dripping his slime all over the hallway. Oh, poetic. I like it. (draws dripping slug on the board)
Javier: One little mistake. I make OOOONE little mistake and this is what I get.
Me: If you start crying, and leave the room, your nose will be runny all down the hallway.
Javier: You're not going to let this go, are you?
Me: Nope!

Two days later--
I get a teacher appreciation card from him. He drew a slug, and signed it "Runny."