"Miss J, I have detention tonight again. Its that same damn teacher. He's DOGGIN' me. He won't let me do anythin'. I can't even go throw something in the trash."
"That sucks, Monica. Not sure what I can tell you. Are you still being an ass to him?"
"NO! Well... maybe. Is 8th grade going to suck like this?"
"I don't know, m'dear, but I can tell you this-- I've been thinking about seeing if I can teach 8th grade next year."
"WHAT?! What subject.... SCIENCE?! OH MY GOD MISS J YOU SO ROCK MY WORLD!!!"
She runs out, huge grin on her face.
I will never tire of this girl.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Fingerpaints & Rorschach
"This feels like KINDERGARTEN!" shouts a smiling 6th grader, yellow paint all over her hands.
"Look! I got my nails done," kids one of the boys, scarlet dripping from his fingertips.
Another girl has a red streak across her forehead. But there is no paint on the floor. Everybody is participating and I think...I hope... most are learning.
"What do you think this looks like?" asks one student, holding the paper sideways.
"What do you see?"
"I see dancing bunnies!"
"Dancing bunnies? That looks like your MOM," a smartass student replies, mock-scoffing.
"You look like my mom," I retort.
"BUUUUUUURN!"
We were fingerpainting in math class. What better way to continue teaching reflections than by fingerpainting? We made our own Rorschach inkblots (using both x and y axes mind you) then built reflections with manipulatives and used green plastic psuedo-mirrors to test them.
After school, my Elite Wednesday Crew solved problems like this:
One side of a square is 7x-2. If the perimeter is 160 cm, what is x?
Use the distributive process to solve the perimeter of a regular pentagon if one side is 3s + 6 and s equals 4.
AND THEY DID IT. (Can you?) All while on a Sour Skittles high.
Later, I'll tell you how I taught my second class how to differenciate rotations, translations and reflections using the Three Little Pigs and Little Red Riding Hood. :)
I'm such a genius, it kills me.
More later. I've had a good day, and will now commence this momentous occasion by partaking in one of my all time favorite activities-- sleeping. Adios!
"Look! I got my nails done," kids one of the boys, scarlet dripping from his fingertips.
Another girl has a red streak across her forehead. But there is no paint on the floor. Everybody is participating and I think...I hope... most are learning.
"What do you think this looks like?" asks one student, holding the paper sideways.
"What do you see?"
"I see dancing bunnies!"
"Dancing bunnies? That looks like your MOM," a smartass student replies, mock-scoffing.
"You look like my mom," I retort.
"BUUUUUUURN!"
We were fingerpainting in math class. What better way to continue teaching reflections than by fingerpainting? We made our own Rorschach inkblots (using both x and y axes mind you) then built reflections with manipulatives and used green plastic psuedo-mirrors to test them.
After school, my Elite Wednesday Crew solved problems like this:
One side of a square is 7x-2. If the perimeter is 160 cm, what is x?
Use the distributive process to solve the perimeter of a regular pentagon if one side is 3s + 6 and s equals 4.
AND THEY DID IT. (Can you?) All while on a Sour Skittles high.
Later, I'll tell you how I taught my second class how to differenciate rotations, translations and reflections using the Three Little Pigs and Little Red Riding Hood. :)
I'm such a genius, it kills me.
More later. I've had a good day, and will now commence this momentous occasion by partaking in one of my all time favorite activities-- sleeping. Adios!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Today's Happy Snippets
Bored Kid who Doesn't want to Finish his Exam: "Miss J, I need to go to the nurse."
Bored Teacher who Just wants to Dance: Oh yeah? Pretty sure she doesn't treat mental problems."
Bored Class: BUUUUUUUUUUURN!!!!!
Kid:"Can I go see the counselor then?"
Laughter.
"Miss J, you and Jacob should have a rap off."
"What me, white girl, with white boy? Yeah, that should be good."
(Jacob) "That's gonna be the name of my first track. White Girl. Top 50. Right up there with Soldier Cookie [his G rated version of Soulja Boy or whatever the hell its called]"
What's hilarious about this? Jacob can actually rap. He's like Weird Al but...weirder. And you know, (brushing off shoulder) , I'm not so bad myself. Precipitation........
Bored Teacher who Just wants to Dance: Oh yeah? Pretty sure she doesn't treat mental problems."
Bored Class: BUUUUUUUUUUURN!!!!!
Kid:"Can I go see the counselor then?"
Laughter.
"Miss J, you and Jacob should have a rap off."
"What me, white girl, with white boy? Yeah, that should be good."
(Jacob) "That's gonna be the name of my first track. White Girl. Top 50. Right up there with Soldier Cookie [his G rated version of Soulja Boy or whatever the hell its called]"
What's hilarious about this? Jacob can actually rap. He's like Weird Al but...weirder. And you know, (brushing off shoulder) , I'm not so bad myself. Precipitation........
End Zone Dance
THEY GOT IT!
My homeroom class-- my class of ham-- they GOT IT! We talked about reflections today in math and it was a GLORIOUS SUCCESS!
Says me: "Okay guys. Question. When you look in the mirror, do you see your butt?"
Says the ham: "NO!!"
Cat in the Hat: "Well, some of you might if you're being buttheads. (Class snickers) ANYWAY. No. Why not? What do you see?"
We played Mirror,Mirror, grabbed partners and reflected movements. We talked about pictures and reflected singular points on both x and y axises (what is the plural form of axis?). We played with manipulatives.
And then I quizzed the little suckers.
AND THEY GOT IT! All but two kids received 100%
HOORAY! SUCCESS! HOORAY!
My homeroom class-- my class of ham-- they GOT IT! We talked about reflections today in math and it was a GLORIOUS SUCCESS!
Says me: "Okay guys. Question. When you look in the mirror, do you see your butt?"
Says the ham: "NO!!"
Cat in the Hat: "Well, some of you might if you're being buttheads. (Class snickers) ANYWAY. No. Why not? What do you see?"
We played Mirror,Mirror, grabbed partners and reflected movements. We talked about pictures and reflected singular points on both x and y axises (what is the plural form of axis?). We played with manipulatives.
And then I quizzed the little suckers.
AND THEY GOT IT! All but two kids received 100%
HOORAY! SUCCESS! HOORAY!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
NEWS NEWS NEWS!
I HAVE CREATED A NEW BLOG!
For any of you who want actual lesson plans, ideas on management, website links etc, I will be updating them all slowly on: http://myteachingadventures2.blogspot.com/ It is the exact same website as this one, but with a little 2 on the end. :) From now on, there will be a link on the right that will send you straight there.
Think of it as the technical side of the mania. Look for updates!
Oh yeah--you will also see a link for my favorite person in the world. http://senoragirasol.blogspot.com/ This is the blog of my best friend and partner in crime. She is a (genius) budding Spanish teacher with a killer sense of humor. If you long to read more about the insanity of teaching, please visit her site! Teachers really do have the best stories, you know. :)
For any of you who want actual lesson plans, ideas on management, website links etc, I will be updating them all slowly on: http://myteachingadventures2.blogspot.com/ It is the exact same website as this one, but with a little 2 on the end. :) From now on, there will be a link on the right that will send you straight there.
Think of it as the technical side of the mania. Look for updates!
Oh yeah--you will also see a link for my favorite person in the world. http://senoragirasol.blogspot.com/ This is the blog of my best friend and partner in crime. She is a (genius) budding Spanish teacher with a killer sense of humor. If you long to read more about the insanity of teaching, please visit her site! Teachers really do have the best stories, you know. :)
Images that will delight the senses!
Ah! At last, I provide what I promised so very long ago: pictures. You will notice that the classroom is quite colorful and neat... with the exception of my corner... which is a total chaotic disaster. The stacks of papers you see are not papers to grade, but papers to file. Every worksheet you see is one I created myself... I now have over 2 boxes of worksheets. AMAZING. And sickening. Every few weeks I have a few students help me sort them all out and, magically, within days, the stacks reappear. I have to come up with a better system. Unfortunately, during the day, I spend so much time mediating, teaching, guiding, ungluing paper from hair, stopping kids from staple-gunning each other, removing knots, and etc. I have no time to do organizational stuff. Sigh.
Anyhow, enjoy. :)
Friday, January 25, 2008
Quote of the Day
Said to new student:
"Miss J picks on everyone. She picks because she cares. Just don't...tick her off."
"Miss J picks on everyone. She picks because she cares. Just don't...tick her off."
Monday, January 14, 2008
I'll stay here, on the bench.
So, to further prove (mostly to myself) that there is something amiss with my homeroom class (and not myself), let me discuss the most current batch of benchmark scores.
If you are not a teacher, let me first explain what a benchmark score is.
It is not, as I'd first thought, the number of times you were benched in gym. If that was the case, I'd be a most glorious 98%. Whee! Go me!
Anyhow. Several times a year, the school district sends us what looks like a rather innocuous standardized test. The kids show up (with no pencils in hand, of course) and take it, grumbling all the way. Several days later, lucky educators all over the district find themselves looking at posted scores online.
Standardized tests? Make me vomitus maximus. Of course, just about any teacher will tell you the same thing. Trust me-- don't get us started. You won't be able to shut us up. To be brief:
What are these tests supposed to do? Well, they tell us a number of things.
1. If our pacing stinks. (I was supposed to cover decimals, fractions, order of operations, algebra, data analysis and measures of central tendency all in 3 MONTHS?!?! My kids can't friggin' MULTIPLY!)
2. If our teaching stinks. (We DID money math! We did 2 and 3D geometry! We did probability! We covered function tables. Why am I seeing 30%s? I must be the worst teacher in this hemisphere!)
3. Where our kids stink (Okay, they stunk at vertex edge graphs... What in the name of hypnogogic carnations is a vertex edge graph?)
As it turns out, my whole homeroom class stinks. No, reeks. Positively radiates with stench.
The bog eternal.
Think, sulfiric vapors spiriting about over a viscous brew of maggot stew. Think elephant dung latte. Think river of curdled milk in NYC's sewer system.
My homeroom class's average: 37 %.
I had kids in the TEENS.
(I'm sorry, but why is it that your score is barely over your age?)
WHAT IS THAT?
There was virtually NO IMPROVEMENT FROM ALL BUT 3 STUDENTS.
And, let me explain again-- I'm not even talking about the monolingual kids, or those with 1st grade reading levels. I can't blame them for not doing well. They're trying to survive. Can't hate on 'em. But... seriously? For the rest of them? What's the excuse? Don't tell me your dog ate your homework AND your brain.
Let's switch to my second class.
Their math scores?
Every student EXCEPT THREE went up drastically. Class scores ranged from the mid 20's to 80s.
12 passed. 4 came close. 8 went up 20% or higher.
My MONOLINGUAL HAD A 42.
Our class average? 58. One question away from passing. That's not bad! Even an old Scrooge can't be too upset by that.
What's amazing-- this is higher than my fantastic kids from last year by 10%.
So, let me ask-- what the hell is going on? I'm doing 10x more manipulatives, hands on, act-it-out, flash cards and explanations with class 1. So... where are my results?
Oh yeah, I remeber. They are with the part of my brain that has somehow gotten lost in all this quagmire. The part of my brain that reminds me that I don't care about these scores.
If things don't shape up soon, I'll be wishing I was back in dreaded gym class. Back in body odor central, back in hell. Staring at my shoelaces, warming the bench.
If you are not a teacher, let me first explain what a benchmark score is.
It is not, as I'd first thought, the number of times you were benched in gym. If that was the case, I'd be a most glorious 98%. Whee! Go me!
Anyhow. Several times a year, the school district sends us what looks like a rather innocuous standardized test. The kids show up (with no pencils in hand, of course) and take it, grumbling all the way. Several days later, lucky educators all over the district find themselves looking at posted scores online.
Standardized tests? Make me vomitus maximus. Of course, just about any teacher will tell you the same thing. Trust me-- don't get us started. You won't be able to shut us up. To be brief:
What are these tests supposed to do? Well, they tell us a number of things.
1. If our pacing stinks. (I was supposed to cover decimals, fractions, order of operations, algebra, data analysis and measures of central tendency all in 3 MONTHS?!?! My kids can't friggin' MULTIPLY!)
2. If our teaching stinks. (We DID money math! We did 2 and 3D geometry! We did probability! We covered function tables. Why am I seeing 30%s? I must be the worst teacher in this hemisphere!)
3. Where our kids stink (Okay, they stunk at vertex edge graphs... What in the name of hypnogogic carnations is a vertex edge graph?)
As it turns out, my whole homeroom class stinks. No, reeks. Positively radiates with stench.
The bog eternal.
Think, sulfiric vapors spiriting about over a viscous brew of maggot stew. Think elephant dung latte. Think river of curdled milk in NYC's sewer system.
My homeroom class's average: 37 %.
I had kids in the TEENS.
(I'm sorry, but why is it that your score is barely over your age?)
WHAT IS THAT?
There was virtually NO IMPROVEMENT FROM ALL BUT 3 STUDENTS.
And, let me explain again-- I'm not even talking about the monolingual kids, or those with 1st grade reading levels. I can't blame them for not doing well. They're trying to survive. Can't hate on 'em. But... seriously? For the rest of them? What's the excuse? Don't tell me your dog ate your homework AND your brain.
Let's switch to my second class.
Their math scores?
Every student EXCEPT THREE went up drastically. Class scores ranged from the mid 20's to 80s.
12 passed. 4 came close. 8 went up 20% or higher.
My MONOLINGUAL HAD A 42.
Our class average? 58. One question away from passing. That's not bad! Even an old Scrooge can't be too upset by that.
What's amazing-- this is higher than my fantastic kids from last year by 10%.
So, let me ask-- what the hell is going on? I'm doing 10x more manipulatives, hands on, act-it-out, flash cards and explanations with class 1. So... where are my results?
Oh yeah, I remeber. They are with the part of my brain that has somehow gotten lost in all this quagmire. The part of my brain that reminds me that I don't care about these scores.
(Only I do. I can't help it. They are a reflection of me, and I am not a person who fails. So why am I failing? Why am I so damn bitter? What am I doing wrong? Shit!!)
Next is geometry, which in my opinion, is the easiest unit of the bunch.If things don't shape up soon, I'll be wishing I was back in dreaded gym class. Back in body odor central, back in hell. Staring at my shoelaces, warming the bench.
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