"INSTANT DEATH!"

A couple days ago, I got a new student.... seemed all spunky and intelligent, which I like. I like the punks. Today....

"So, if we're going to puzzle out what 'vapid valley girl' means, we have to look at the word vapid. What part of speech is it?"
"Its an adjective," new kid says with a scorn-filled smirk.
"It is? How do you know?"
"Because its describing."
"But, adverbs also describe. How do you know its not an adverb?"
A pause.
He looks me dead in the eye.

"What's your point?"
Now, its my turn to pause. Seriously? Did this kid just ask me what my point was?
"Well, both describe words. So what's the difference between an adjective and an adverb?"
"What's your point?"

AGAIN?! Okay. War. Let me roll up my sleeves, baby. I'm going to enjoy this.
I leaned forward, cold smile silently feathering across my face.
Quietly, grinning like a shark, I say "You really want to fight this with me?"

And from the back, Big William, one of my favorite kids from two years ago screams...
"Ohhhhhhhh! OOOOOOOhhh! Not smart! INSTANT DEATH! INSTANT DEATH!"
His smirk shrinks. Damn right, I think.

I grin wider. William has totally made my day. And now I am a predator. Instant death? Oh no. I'm gonna gut him. With a grin.

"Anyone? Difference between an adjective and an adverb?"
Iris, the most vain and one of the most intelligent girls in class says "Duhhhhh! An adjective modifies a NOUN and an adverb," she spits out the sarcasm, "an adverb modifies, oh I don't know... a VERB?" She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
My grin has now reached epic proportions.
"Very good, Iris. Thank you."

I stare back at Newbie. I smile. And then playfully, I say "And there we have it. So, next time, maybe, if you want to be a smart alec and challenge me.... next time, it might be a good idea to know the right answer. Eh?"

He doesn't say anything. I've won this battle. I haven't let him ruffle me. He's testing me, seeing if I'm possibly smarter than he is. I've got to earn his respect yes, but the little bugger's got to earn mine too.

Later, I pulled him outside as the rest of the kids were working.

"Here's the thing. I like you. You're smart. You've got personality. You've got spunk. I like that. But you don't know me. And I don't know you. Those kids in there? I've known some of them for going on three years now. You've got three days. They've got my respect and I've got theirs, which is why I can play, which is why I can talk smack and get back to work. But you? I don't have your respect yet, and you don't have mine. So, we're not crossing that line. We're not playing until you know where that line is. So, when you've got MY respect, then, game's on. But until then? Sit back and learn. Fair?"

He shakes his head. "Yeah."
"Yes ma'am," I correct.
He looks at me, into my cold eyes, "Yes ma'am."
The coldness melts. I open the door for him. "Now, that's more like it. Welcome."

Booyah.