Phat.

Today, the principal came in to watch me teach. She sat in the back, typing away as I did my thing, acted ridiculous and had fun with my last hour class.

I wanted to recap a story I had told them the day before ... but none of them would summarize it for me. Suddenly one girl pierces the silence:
"You're FAT!"
I pretended to be horrified and shocked "I'M FAT?!?!? How.... I..... Oh my god.... How could you...."
"NO! In the STORY. In the STORY you were fat."
I ignore this.
"Oh my GOD, you're right I am fat," I replied. Then, my eyes sparkled....
"P-H-A-T, baby! Awwwwww, yeah!"

Later: "Okay, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes. I need all your pretty little eyes on me please. I know I'm hideous and I'll probably turn you to stone... but I still need your eyes if you can bear to look at me for just a moment."

Later: "Thank you, my dear students, for making me look good in front of the principal. I mean, let's be honest here, I already look reaaaaaaaaally good, so its not much of a stretch."

Student: "Miss J, you have some serious issues with your personal appearance."
Student 2: "Yeah, first she was all acting like a narcissistic mirror-gazer, and she's acting like a hideous monstrosity, and now she's back to being like a vapid valley girl again."
Me: "Okay, first, I'm joking. And secondly, I did not teach you those insults so you could use them against me."
Student 2: "Can we use them against Mr. Faulk?"
Me: "OH yeah. Totally. Or, rather... maybe just teach them to him. Mr. Faulk has a small vocabulary."
Student 3: "Them's FIGHTIN' words, Miss J!"
Student 4: "We taught him halitosis so now he can say you have bad breath intelligently."
Me: "Again.... not supposed to use our intelligent insults.... against me. You punks."
Student 3: "You love us."
Me: "Yes, yes I do."