Perpetuation

So, remember that Boy? Well, here's the wee detail I neglected to mention, which makes the whole thing relevant to this blog-- he works with me. Let's call him Mr. X. (He's a math teacher. X is the most common letter used as a variable. And the situation is currently an "unknown".....Wow. Dorkiness prevails.... Don't tell anyone that you know and love me....)

Hence last post's "something I thought I would never do." Date a co-worker? Horrible idea! The rumor mill, the drama, being "that couple," having everyone know my business, the sea of broken 7th grade hearts....

No thank you!

Three things save me and make it all completely worth it:
1. The fact that he is (get your barf bags now) utterly, astonishingly, amazingly good to me.
2. The hilarious assumptions the kids make.
3. Mr. Faulk, my hero.

Let's go to #2. The kids, in all of their adolescent glory, assume that Mr. X is dating Ms. C-- the 8th grade math teacher (Should she be variable Y? Cus then they could be X and Y! Like on a coordinate grid!!!! .... Ohhhhh....here I go again. Pretty soon I'll be bustin' out algebraic equations...)

Anyhow, Ms. C's friendly and bouncy and platinum blonde and hilarious. X and C's rooms are right next door to each other and the best part? Adjoining window. Shenanigans ensuing? Oh yes. There is constantly a prank war going on.
Let's do the math here:
1. They're both math teachers. Common ground? Check.
2. He's an insufferable flirt. Enough said.
3. She's the type of girl that most guys go for.
And they get along. So clearly, clearly, they must be dating, right? Right?!

She's the type of teacher the boys think dirty thoughts about, and he's the kind of teacher the boys idolize (he's their coach) and the girls love even more (especially the way he hip-sways when he walks...according to Bryanna). So, of course, it seems like the match made in heaven.

X + C = LOVE (Awwwww yeaaaaah!)

Here's what the kids see: Mr. X and Ms. C walking together, laughing. Nearly every day.
Says two students: "Oh, Miss J, they have SUCH chemistry! You should see them. They're so good together."
Says me: "Oh yes. Definitely. Very cute."

What the kids don't know: The reason Ms. C is laughing? She's teasing Mr. X about me, and as his face starts to turn scarlet, or as he tries to deny whatever nonsense they both know is true... she bursts into laughter. Perfect.

The kids tell them about all of their dates, and Ms. C agrees with it all. From time to time, she tells them she's going to break up with him, and they scream and whine "No, Ms. C! Give him another chance! He's a really good guy!"

But, there's a glitch. There's a 9th grader who comes back to visit all the time, and for whatever reason, he's figured it out. I walked into Mr. X's room after school. Juan, the student, looked at me, looked at X and went "Mmm hmm."
Like "Oh, yeah. I got this."
He looked straight at X and said "You WILL be telling me by the end of the day who you are dating." And then stared me down. Broke into a grin. And walked out the door.

Shit, shit, shit! The problem isn't Juan knowing. The problem is that Juan's best friend's brother is an 8th grader. In my class. An 8th grader with an exceptionally large mouth. If Juan knows, his best friend will find out, which means his little brother will find out which means ....the entire school will erupt.

So, enter my savior, Mr. Faulk.
Thursday, between two of the last periods of the day, while at least 80 kids are standing out in the hallway, Mr. Faulk says "Miss J, dinner, Saturday?"
My eyes light up. I stop in my tracks, and twirl like the most excited girl in the world. My hair orbits wildly around my face. I brush it from my lips and look at him with wide, luminous doe eyes.
The kids go silent.
"Really?!"
He grins, seeing how totally full of shit I am. I nod, giggle girlishly, scamper around the corner, burst into laughter, and start down the steps as some of the kids start to go wild. Chimpanzees on parade. The oohing, the aahing, the excited cacophony erupting.

At duty, at the end of the day, a sea of kids swarm me.
"So, is it TRUE?! Is it TRUE, Miss J?!"
"Don't deny it, Miss J. I was THERE. I HEARD it!"
"SECRET LOVAHHH!"

I widened my eyes and blinked them innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Denial, as you know, is a powerful tool. The more you deny it, the more they believe it. Damn, I'm good (but nothin' at all without the Faulkster).

The next day, to thank Mr. F, I brought him in two bags of those high-quality, Pepperidge farm cookies in the little white, aluminum lined bags. But did I deliver them myself? Ohhhh no. Think efficiency. Let's get that rumor mill workin' in my favor....

I had kids deliver them and worked it out so that each of my 4 classes would know me givin' F some suga' before the end of the day: first hour gives it to his first hour-- my third hour. Second hour gives it to his second hour-- my fourth hour. PERFECT!
On one bag, I stuck a pink post it note, Mr. Faulk, thank you so much for everything you've done for me....

By the end of the day, the kids were even more chaotically excited.

"You and Mr. Faulk can NOT stop talking about each other."
"You guys are like, so totally in love."
"Miss J, you'll never believe it!"
"What?"
"Mr. X is TOTALLY JEALOUS!"
"WHAT?!... er. I mean... what?"
"Well, he saw the cookies and tried to STEAL them. But Mr. F said "I know enough secrets about you that you do NOT want to take those cookies!" So, Mr. X stops in his tracks, turns and puts them back on the table. TOTALLY JEALOUS."
Oscar chimes in. "Totally. OOH! Ooooh! You know what you should do? You should write Mr. X a love letter to make Mr. F jealous."

Me: "But I'm friends with Ms. C. Won't that make her mad?"
Oscar: "No! Have her help you! Let her in on it!"
Me: "I'll keep that in mind....."

But again, Faulk comes to my rescue. This morning, Faulk told the kids how romantic our Saturday date was, how we shared and appetizer and desert to save on money. The kids ate it up and walked into my room with knowing grins on their faces.

The best part? Knowing that one day, they'll probably figure out the truth... and the looks on their faces when it dawns on them that we'd been messing with them the WHOLE TIME? Ohhh! It is going to be absolutely priceless.