Shoulders and Pride

At the end of the day, I take my last class to gym. They know to walk straight out of my room and stop at the end of the wall.

For a straight line I look for two things.
1) That each student has their right shoulder touching the wall.
2) That all of them are looking forward.

Of course, there are always several who aren't doing these two simple things. So, for the first few days, conversations like these could be heard:

"Where are your shoulders PEOPLE?!"
"Right here Miss J!" Point, point.
"Connected to my arms!"
Asses.
"Where should the be?!"
"On me!"
"Okay, people. Everybody, put your shoulder on Jesus."
"NOooooooo!"


And "Okay, you keep looking behind you, and I'm going to turn you to stone!"
"How are you going to turn us to stone?"
"Have you not SEEN my face?"
"WHAT?!"

Then a bright student: "Dude. She's saying she's Medusa."
"Yes. 10 points for you, Tiffany. I am a Gorgon. So hideous, I turn you to stone. Whaa! Boom. Stone."
"Wait, is that the lady with the snakes for hair?"
"Yes. That's me. Now look ahead lest you want my venom hair to sting you dead."
"I thought you were going to turn me to stone. I can't be poisoned if I'm stone."
"Oh, for the love of God! Can we go?"
"Yes, Miss J."

Then, one day, I asked again.... "Where should your shoulders be?"
Rosalie looks at me, gleaming with mischief. "On the floor," she responds.
I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
She nods.

"Okay everybody, that's it! You heard the woman! Shoulders on the floor!"
A cacophony. A chorus.
"Are you for REAL?!"
"You can't be serious!"

Oh, but I am. Shrieks, and all 30 8th graders drop like stones.

Now, this is a game. Every once in a while, they'll look at me now, in the mood for trouble, knowing that moments later the hallway could be flooded with other 7/8th graders... eyes sparkling.. knowing this is our strange inside joke....and one kid will say questioningly "Shoulders?"

"Shoulders!" I'll shout. They all grin, groan madly, and collapse to the ground. Then, crack up, scream at Eduardo (the one kid who won't participate) ... then jump back to their feet, and we start walking, all giggling quietly to ourselves.

Today, was one such day. Only, as they are all dropping to the ground, who walks out of his room? Mr. X. Oh yeah. He starts leaping over them, obstacle course style. Until his foot slightly snags Tiffany. And out of her mouth come the purest, most beautiful words I've ever heard.

With ease, with grace, with total comfort, and without a second's thought she says:

"Leave me alone, you dirty vagrant!"

The sound was deafening. A tidal wave. A roar. Every kid went ballistic with laughter, gut-shaking laughter. I doubled over, quaking in delight.

See? There is a reason I teach my kids (using the scientific method, of course) an insult of the day. There is a reason I pound college level words into their heads every day. There is a reason I test them, even though its technically not science. For when, they really want to curse out someone they really shouldn't.... brilliant, intelligent words spew forth instead of curses.

I could not be more proud.