8th Grade Standards are garbage.
Take Strand 4, Concept 2: Reproduction and Heredity.
PO 1: Explain the purposes of cell division (growth and repair, reproduction)
PO 2: Explain the basic principles of heredity using the human examples of: eye color, widow's peak, blood type.
PO 3: Distinguish between the nature of dominant and recessive traits in humans
And that's it. I can't just teach that! That's! Garbage! And not interesting! Yawn!
So instead, we talked about:
1. DNA and its location, shape, function, and how it fixes itself. Ligase, telomerase and all. The sugar phosphate backbone. The bases--adenine, thymine, guanine and cytosine. Histones. The discovery. Watson, Crick, Wilkins, Franklin and even Pauling. X-ray crystallography.
2. Genes. Their location. Sickle Cell Anemia. Mutations.
3. Chromosomes. Their location, number, variation in species, trisomy, male vs. female, how parents pass on different genes to their children. Chromosomal disorders.
4. Proteins. RNA's job. Ribosome's job. Receptor proteins. Structural proteins. Enzymes. The similarities and differences between RNA and DNA. mRNA, tRNA. Codons. Translation. Transcription. Replication.
5. Heredity. Zygotes. Sperm and Egg. The endless possibilities. In vitro and the crazy octuplet mom. Fraternal vs. Identical twins. Conjoined twins.
6. Traits. Acquired vs. Inherited. Physical. Behavioral. Gene-linked medical conditions. The impact of the environment and choices on us. Medical predispositions. Alleles. Dominant. Recessive. Homozygous versus heterozygous. Incomplete dominance. How much we have in common. Mendel. Punnet squares. Genotype vs. Phenotype. Tongue rolling to widow's peaks to hitch hiker thumbs.
7. Crazy shit. The spider goat. The human genome project. Cloning. Genetic engineering.
AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN COMPLAIN.
Of course, I'm sure all of it didn't stick. But that's okay!!!
Because.
Look at the.
HS Standards:
PO 1: Analyze the relationships among nucleic acids (DNA, RNA) genes and chromosomes.
PO 2: Describe the molecular basis of heredity, in viruses and living things, including DNA replication and protein synthesis.
PO 3: Explain how genotypic variation occurs and results in phenotypic diversity.
PO 4: Describe how meiosis and fertilization maintain genetic variation.
They will thank me later.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Minds Gone to Pot
On 4/20.
Several 7th graders were in the park.
Smoking pot.
And then they brought it to school.
Smart.
IS ANYONE PARENTING THESE CHILDREN!?
Several 7th graders were in the park.
Smoking pot.
And then they brought it to school.
Smart.
IS ANYONE PARENTING THESE CHILDREN!?
I didn't know a forest could golf.
"Okay, coniferous forest would be one name of this biome, but what else is it called?"
Crickets.
"Also the boreal forest or the.... come on people, Russia. Canada. Starts with a T. Not tundra."
"T-A-I...."
Bayron looks at me. Grins. Sparkles.
"Taiga Woods. Heh heh heh."
Crickets.
"Also the boreal forest or the.... come on people, Russia. Canada. Starts with a T. Not tundra."
"T-A-I...."
Bayron looks at me. Grins. Sparkles.
"Taiga Woods. Heh heh heh."
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Jorge! And an apology.
Jorge came back!
And the Sexual Harassment Kid apologized!
What a day. More later.
And the Sexual Harassment Kid apologized!
What a day. More later.
Invasive J
Today, I had them look at two phrases and jot down anything and everything that came to mind. The two phrases:
Alien Invasion.
Illegal Alien.
They had three minutes to work with their tables, laugh and share (all of them were terrified to write "Mexicans" under illegal alien which made me laugh-- Mexicans worried being racist TO Mexicans is somehow hilarious). Then, I took their suggestions at the board. World domination. Adaptations, senses or skills we don't have. They look harmless but aren't. They shouldn't be here. Foreigners. Immigration. Dangerous. Destruction. Using all our resources and leaving....
As we are going over this, and I'm reiterating points, I see that one of my girls is collapsing into a heap of giggles. Her notebook is over her face and she's shuddering. I ask her what the joke is. She just points to the girl next to her.
"What?" Marissa just says. "All I said was, I didn't think it was cool that PEOPLE had to have papers but ANIMALS don't have papers. And they can cause all KINDS of trouble."
"Funny you say that Marissa.... because that's JUST where I'm going."
Dawning look. "Have.... have you been getting at invasive species this whole time without us knowing it?"
I grin.
"Damn, Miss J. You are sneaky." Indeed.
Alien Invasion.
Illegal Alien.
They had three minutes to work with their tables, laugh and share (all of them were terrified to write "Mexicans" under illegal alien which made me laugh-- Mexicans worried being racist TO Mexicans is somehow hilarious). Then, I took their suggestions at the board. World domination. Adaptations, senses or skills we don't have. They look harmless but aren't. They shouldn't be here. Foreigners. Immigration. Dangerous. Destruction. Using all our resources and leaving....
As we are going over this, and I'm reiterating points, I see that one of my girls is collapsing into a heap of giggles. Her notebook is over her face and she's shuddering. I ask her what the joke is. She just points to the girl next to her.
"What?" Marissa just says. "All I said was, I didn't think it was cool that PEOPLE had to have papers but ANIMALS don't have papers. And they can cause all KINDS of trouble."
"Funny you say that Marissa.... because that's JUST where I'm going."
Dawning look. "Have.... have you been getting at invasive species this whole time without us knowing it?"
I grin.
"Damn, Miss J. You are sneaky." Indeed.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Stories: Remind me!
At some point, will someone please remind me that I've got to jot down three stories?
1. Fern & the Helium Balloons of Destruction
2. Sexual Harassment: A Class Divided (and what to do about it)
3. Data Walks and How Very Special I Felt Today, 4.20.2009
1. Fern & the Helium Balloons of Destruction
2. Sexual Harassment: A Class Divided (and what to do about it)
3. Data Walks and How Very Special I Felt Today, 4.20.2009
Strategy #2: Questioning
Okay, so I just talked about one of the strategies I've been using lately-- letting the kids observe and wonder and make predictions, but not providing them with the "correct answers." This makes them feel really safe-- there are no "I told you sos" or any kids feeling smug. It promotes an environment where even the kid who feels like a science loser can participate without worry. This incorporates not only observation, but reading, writing, speaking, analysis of an idea, judgment, debate and even reflection into your week. But what did I do to keep them thinking? I asked the little suckers a TON of questions. And boy, did they hate me for it.
As teachers, we barrage our kids with a multitude of questions... but what are meaningful ones? And how do we get them to actually THINK before they speak?
Commonly, I've noticed that students want to give you the answer they THINK you're looking for. They want the praise and the satisfaction of being right... but they're not THINKING. They're simply reacting to what you put in front of them. Most teachers, when a "right" answer is shouted out feel happy. Ahh yes, they are on the same page. Excellent. Of course, you soon realize that it's only 4-5 big-mouthed students who are with you....and they haven't even processed the question. They don't know why the question is important. So, because sometimes you're just GOING to ask questions that have obvious answers (even dreaded yes/no ones)... try to fix it. Or as the dude from Spiderman would say: try to rectify certain inequities. Okay, so that doesn't quite work here. But onward!
Let's look at how this works in my classroom on at least a monthly basis.
1. Miss J asks question.
2. Kids shout out answer, gleeful that they know the answer, and will make Miss J oh-so-very proud.
3. Miss J realizes that students took NO time to think about what she posed..and realizes it is her own fault for asking such a dopey, shallow question.
4. Miss J pauses and gives the kids.... THE LOOK. You know the one. Slightly pursed lips to one side, furrowed brow, slightly narrowed eyes. It's the look that says "Reallly? Is that seriously how you're going to answer that?"
5. The kids see The Look (Number 216 in case you're counting) and IMMEDIATELY give the OPPOSITE ANSWER. "Ah ha! Now this HAS to be right!"
6. Miss J gives them the look again.
7. Class dissolves in confusion. What is she doing?!?! NEITHER WAS RIGHT? AWW GAWD!
8. Miss J says something like "This time, I want you to PAUSE and THINK before you speak. Raise your hands when you are ready." OR "This time, I want you to jot down your answer. When it's complete, raise your hand."
9. Miss J gives them a variation of the question, but HOPEFULLY in a deeper format. The kids pause, think, reply.
10. Miss J asks them why in the world she wouldn't take their first answers. Discussion ensues.
Problem solved.
Most helpful tool: GIVING THEM THE LOOK EVEN WHEN THEY ARE RIGHT.
Why I do it?: To get them to think before they respond, to second guess what they originally might think, to think beyond the surface level, and to be able to give JUSTIFICATION for their answer.
Many days I do "warm-ups" in the morning as bell work. For warm ups, students are allowed to use their notes. (It's a clever way to make them recopy them in a different format and in their own words, most days. Heh heh heh. God, I'm crafty. Of course, the kids that don't TAKE them struggle... most end up taking them eventually.) After about 5 minutes, students are given 1 minute to share with their neighbor. Then, they KEEP their work and self check it. I go over the answers, and they add any information they DIDN'T have into their work. I collect all of these at the end of the week.
ANYHOW, as I'm in the check stage, I ask the question, and get volunteers to give the answer.
RULE: THEY MUST ANSWER IN COMPLETE SENTENCES.
This takes a while to get used to, so we walk through the process. I write down EXACTLY what the kids says. Even "errs" and "uumms" and giggles. This usually breaks the tension a little bit, and we all have a good laugh-- but only if the student is one who can handle it.
If the student says one word, I write just that one word down. Then, I then ask the student if he or she can fix it on his/her own and make it into a sentence. They think a few seconds and do. I give mucho praise. Then, I ask the class "what word can we replace thing/something/the object/stuff with?" We make the sentence better, it evolves. And the next question continues the trend.
By the end of the answering period.....
1. They will think before they speak. It takes longer time to construct a sentence. This means your answers will be more thought out.
2. Because the answers will be more thought out, kids will stumble upon a justification, extension or an example they might not have thought of initially.
3. You get to praise them more-- not only on their answers and word choices, but on their THINKING which is far more important.
4. Almost all of your kids will be answering in complete sentences and actively thinking!
Why is this awesome?
It helps their writing.
It slows them down.
It gives "slower" kids a chance to think a bit longer.
It builds confidence.
It allows piggybacking.
A challenge: if I am asking for examples, I won't let students answer back THE SAME WAY. This makes the answering kind of a game AND they can work on their transition/sequencing words.
EX:
1. Miss J, one example of a consumer is a rabbit.
2. Another example of a consumer would be a turkey.
3. In addition to rabbits and turkeys, armadillos are also consumers.
4. Consumers in a desert climate might also be gila monsters and cactus wrens.
More questioning strategies:
1. Ask a student to REPEAT the answer the last student said VERBATIM. WHY? They have to listen to the other students-- not JUST you. Everyone is a teacher, everyone is a learner, everyone is important.
2. NEXT: Ask a third student to REPEAT the answer the last student said IN THEIR OWN WORDS. Why? It forces them to use their own language and synthesize or summarize to create meaning for themselves.
Okay. I'm done for now. Too may epiphanies and I'm drained. So... just one question....
Do you get why I'm doing all this?
Wait. Did you just shout YES!
Sigh. Look 216 comin' right atcha.
As teachers, we barrage our kids with a multitude of questions... but what are meaningful ones? And how do we get them to actually THINK before they speak?
Commonly, I've noticed that students want to give you the answer they THINK you're looking for. They want the praise and the satisfaction of being right... but they're not THINKING. They're simply reacting to what you put in front of them. Most teachers, when a "right" answer is shouted out feel happy. Ahh yes, they are on the same page. Excellent. Of course, you soon realize that it's only 4-5 big-mouthed students who are with you....and they haven't even processed the question. They don't know why the question is important. So, because sometimes you're just GOING to ask questions that have obvious answers (even dreaded yes/no ones)... try to fix it. Or as the dude from Spiderman would say: try to rectify certain inequities. Okay, so that doesn't quite work here. But onward!
Let's look at how this works in my classroom on at least a monthly basis.
1. Miss J asks question.
2. Kids shout out answer, gleeful that they know the answer, and will make Miss J oh-so-very proud.
3. Miss J realizes that students took NO time to think about what she posed..and realizes it is her own fault for asking such a dopey, shallow question.
4. Miss J pauses and gives the kids.... THE LOOK. You know the one. Slightly pursed lips to one side, furrowed brow, slightly narrowed eyes. It's the look that says "Reallly? Is that seriously how you're going to answer that?"
5. The kids see The Look (Number 216 in case you're counting) and IMMEDIATELY give the OPPOSITE ANSWER. "Ah ha! Now this HAS to be right!"
6. Miss J gives them the look again.
7. Class dissolves in confusion. What is she doing?!?! NEITHER WAS RIGHT? AWW GAWD!
8. Miss J says something like "This time, I want you to PAUSE and THINK before you speak. Raise your hands when you are ready." OR "This time, I want you to jot down your answer. When it's complete, raise your hand."
9. Miss J gives them a variation of the question, but HOPEFULLY in a deeper format. The kids pause, think, reply.
10. Miss J asks them why in the world she wouldn't take their first answers. Discussion ensues.
Problem solved.
Most helpful tool: GIVING THEM THE LOOK EVEN WHEN THEY ARE RIGHT.
Why I do it?: To get them to think before they respond, to second guess what they originally might think, to think beyond the surface level, and to be able to give JUSTIFICATION for their answer.
Many days I do "warm-ups" in the morning as bell work. For warm ups, students are allowed to use their notes. (It's a clever way to make them recopy them in a different format and in their own words, most days. Heh heh heh. God, I'm crafty. Of course, the kids that don't TAKE them struggle... most end up taking them eventually.) After about 5 minutes, students are given 1 minute to share with their neighbor. Then, they KEEP their work and self check it. I go over the answers, and they add any information they DIDN'T have into their work. I collect all of these at the end of the week.
ANYHOW, as I'm in the check stage, I ask the question, and get volunteers to give the answer.
RULE: THEY MUST ANSWER IN COMPLETE SENTENCES.
This takes a while to get used to, so we walk through the process. I write down EXACTLY what the kids says. Even "errs" and "uumms" and giggles. This usually breaks the tension a little bit, and we all have a good laugh-- but only if the student is one who can handle it.
If the student says one word, I write just that one word down. Then, I then ask the student if he or she can fix it on his/her own and make it into a sentence. They think a few seconds and do. I give mucho praise. Then, I ask the class "what word can we replace thing/something/the object/stuff with?" We make the sentence better, it evolves. And the next question continues the trend.
By the end of the answering period.....
1. They will think before they speak. It takes longer time to construct a sentence. This means your answers will be more thought out.
2. Because the answers will be more thought out, kids will stumble upon a justification, extension or an example they might not have thought of initially.
3. You get to praise them more-- not only on their answers and word choices, but on their THINKING which is far more important.
4. Almost all of your kids will be answering in complete sentences and actively thinking!
Why is this awesome?
It helps their writing.
It slows them down.
It gives "slower" kids a chance to think a bit longer.
It builds confidence.
It allows piggybacking.
A challenge: if I am asking for examples, I won't let students answer back THE SAME WAY. This makes the answering kind of a game AND they can work on their transition/sequencing words.
EX:
1. Miss J, one example of a consumer is a rabbit.
2. Another example of a consumer would be a turkey.
3. In addition to rabbits and turkeys, armadillos are also consumers.
4. Consumers in a desert climate might also be gila monsters and cactus wrens.
More questioning strategies:
1. Ask a student to REPEAT the answer the last student said VERBATIM. WHY? They have to listen to the other students-- not JUST you. Everyone is a teacher, everyone is a learner, everyone is important.
2. NEXT: Ask a third student to REPEAT the answer the last student said IN THEIR OWN WORDS. Why? It forces them to use their own language and synthesize or summarize to create meaning for themselves.
Okay. I'm done for now. Too may epiphanies and I'm drained. So... just one question....
Do you get why I'm doing all this?
Wait. Did you just shout YES!
Sigh. Look 216 comin' right atcha.
Stella got her Groove, I've got my Sparkle (AKA Strategy #1: Don't Give 'em the Answer!)
So, lately, I haven't been giving my kids any of the answers. And it kind of infuriates them. But, I've found its soooooo sooo effective. Here's what I do.
1. I give them a chart, a short article (that they DON'T read right away) a picture of a skull, a diagram etc.
2. I have them fill out a 3- column chart.
The first column says "I see" -- they describe what they see. If it's an article, they write bold words, describe a picture, write the caption-- anything that sticks out. They just use their MIGHTY POWERS OF OBSERVATION (totally a science skill). Anything they notice, they jot down.
The second column says "I think" -- here they make predictions, inferences, judgment calls, etc. based on what they saw. Anything they can imagine based on what they have, they write. Here, without knowing it, they are using their MIGHTY POWERS OF.... er.... HYPOTHESIZING!
The third column says "I wonder"-- here they write any things that popped into their heads that they didn't have the data to answer. Anything that they were thinking but couldn't answer. These questions, then, drive the rest.
After that, they write a line under everything they had. Next, they share with a partner and add any additional material they didn't have. Then, we share as a class. And then, after I give them a little more information to lead them in the right direction, we do the whole thing again, but only in a more interactive, activity based form.
For example, last week I put 4-5 different pictures (colored! woo!) of skulls on the tables. They did the see-think-wonder chart and I could tell what level they were at-- were they using words like "predator" or "carnivore" or no? Day two, I introduce some words they knew but had probably forgotten. Then, they had a partner and 20 skull pictures. They first categorized them into fish/mammal/reptile or amphibian/bird and had to give justifications. They asked me questions, but I just fired back more. I played devils advocate. I asked them what rules they were creating-- how did they know what category to put it in? Did that rule apply to all?
Then, they organized them by diet-- was the animal an omnivore? Herbivore? Carnivore? And again, provided justifications for each category. After each group discussed their choices with me, and I obnoxiously pestered them with questions (but that looks like it has a beak. why isn't that a bird?...so then they put it in the bird group... but guys, it has teeth. none of these other skulls have teeth! ARRGGH MISS J!!!! heh heh heh), they glued their choices down and wrote their justifications. I made sure that each group had "wrong" answers that could be debated.
The next day, I handed out one sort to each group-- one sort from another CLASS! They had to first prewrite-- what do they see-observe-etc. Then, they wrote a letter to the students, told them what they would change and why, and give them a grade and justify that. If they did something well, this was also added. The final day, students got to look at their classmates evaluations and make any corrections. Finally, they wrote to me, said what they would change, given new information, if they wouldn't change anything, they had to improve their justifications etc.
So, then their grade was based on three things: the sort/justification itself, their letter evaluating another's work, their final reflective letter to me. It's not about accuracy, its about what you were thinking, I told them, and how well you articulated it.
Booyah. I never told them what skulls they were looking at. It still drives them crazy. So, then at the end of last week, I posed this question:
"Why did was it so important to figure everything out on your own?" In other words: why did I question you but not give you answers? What is the method to my madness?
These are some of the answers I got:
"You probably feel we are capable enough for this challenge and you are making us think twice about what we see. And we are looking at them at different perspectives. You're challenging us! Good one! :) "
"Maybe because you want to see what we know or what we can imagine."
"It teaches us to think beyond what we see and think! It may also be that you want us to practice the scientific method."
"We need to figure it out on our own because if you give us the answers we will be depending on you constantly. We won't learn to work on our own. We'll practically become lazy and not try hard."
"So we can learn stuff and get through life without something being handed to us. Or someone telling us all the answers. It just shows us we don't need people in our life to give us all the answers."
"Because when we get introduced to something new and have no clue what it is, we figure it out and compare it to other things. Scientists discover unknown things all the time!"
"It makes us think more and makes us think of questions that we wouldn't think on a regular basis. It also lets us be creative."
"You want us to have good skills of observation and for us to understand how it works FOR OURSELVES."
"You want us to figure it out on our own because we'll be able to understand it better if we can explain it to ourselves and others."
"You wanted us to think about it and actually use our brains instead of you always giving us the answers! Think outside of the box!"
"Sometimes not all the answers will be given to us, and we are going to have to do it on our own."
"On the test you won't be able to tell us the answers. It will benefit on the test when we are alone."
"Because usually the answer is right in front of you, or to see if we were paying attention when it came down to it."
"Because we don't learn anything if we always get answers. And if we think we're right about something you always want us to prove it.
"When we get in the 9th grade, our teachers/professors might not help us. It will only be up to us."
"To show us how we can accomplish anything on our own. And to show that we need you because you show us everything that we need to know."
That weekend, I got an e-mail from a really, really bright student. It said:
Let's just say.... Miss J is back.
1. I give them a chart, a short article (that they DON'T read right away) a picture of a skull, a diagram etc.
2. I have them fill out a 3- column chart.
The first column says "I see" -- they describe what they see. If it's an article, they write bold words, describe a picture, write the caption-- anything that sticks out. They just use their MIGHTY POWERS OF OBSERVATION (totally a science skill). Anything they notice, they jot down.
The second column says "I think" -- here they make predictions, inferences, judgment calls, etc. based on what they saw. Anything they can imagine based on what they have, they write. Here, without knowing it, they are using their MIGHTY POWERS OF.... er.... HYPOTHESIZING!
The third column says "I wonder"-- here they write any things that popped into their heads that they didn't have the data to answer. Anything that they were thinking but couldn't answer. These questions, then, drive the rest.
After that, they write a line under everything they had. Next, they share with a partner and add any additional material they didn't have. Then, we share as a class. And then, after I give them a little more information to lead them in the right direction, we do the whole thing again, but only in a more interactive, activity based form.
For example, last week I put 4-5 different pictures (colored! woo!) of skulls on the tables. They did the see-think-wonder chart and I could tell what level they were at-- were they using words like "predator" or "carnivore" or no? Day two, I introduce some words they knew but had probably forgotten. Then, they had a partner and 20 skull pictures. They first categorized them into fish/mammal/reptile or amphibian/bird and had to give justifications. They asked me questions, but I just fired back more. I played devils advocate. I asked them what rules they were creating-- how did they know what category to put it in? Did that rule apply to all?
Then, they organized them by diet-- was the animal an omnivore? Herbivore? Carnivore? And again, provided justifications for each category. After each group discussed their choices with me, and I obnoxiously pestered them with questions (but that looks like it has a beak. why isn't that a bird?...so then they put it in the bird group... but guys, it has teeth. none of these other skulls have teeth! ARRGGH MISS J!!!! heh heh heh), they glued their choices down and wrote their justifications. I made sure that each group had "wrong" answers that could be debated.
The next day, I handed out one sort to each group-- one sort from another CLASS! They had to first prewrite-- what do they see-observe-etc. Then, they wrote a letter to the students, told them what they would change and why, and give them a grade and justify that. If they did something well, this was also added. The final day, students got to look at their classmates evaluations and make any corrections. Finally, they wrote to me, said what they would change, given new information, if they wouldn't change anything, they had to improve their justifications etc.
So, then their grade was based on three things: the sort/justification itself, their letter evaluating another's work, their final reflective letter to me. It's not about accuracy, its about what you were thinking, I told them, and how well you articulated it.
Booyah. I never told them what skulls they were looking at. It still drives them crazy. So, then at the end of last week, I posed this question:
"Why did was it so important to figure everything out on your own?" In other words: why did I question you but not give you answers? What is the method to my madness?
These are some of the answers I got:
"You probably feel we are capable enough for this challenge and you are making us think twice about what we see. And we are looking at them at different perspectives. You're challenging us! Good one! :) "
"Maybe because you want to see what we know or what we can imagine."
"It teaches us to think beyond what we see and think! It may also be that you want us to practice the scientific method."
"We need to figure it out on our own because if you give us the answers we will be depending on you constantly. We won't learn to work on our own. We'll practically become lazy and not try hard."
"So we can learn stuff and get through life without something being handed to us. Or someone telling us all the answers. It just shows us we don't need people in our life to give us all the answers."
"Because when we get introduced to something new and have no clue what it is, we figure it out and compare it to other things. Scientists discover unknown things all the time!"
"It makes us think more and makes us think of questions that we wouldn't think on a regular basis. It also lets us be creative."
"You want us to have good skills of observation and for us to understand how it works FOR OURSELVES."
"You want us to figure it out on our own because we'll be able to understand it better if we can explain it to ourselves and others."
"You wanted us to think about it and actually use our brains instead of you always giving us the answers! Think outside of the box!"
"Sometimes not all the answers will be given to us, and we are going to have to do it on our own."
"On the test you won't be able to tell us the answers. It will benefit on the test when we are alone."
"Because usually the answer is right in front of you, or to see if we were paying attention when it came down to it."
"Because we don't learn anything if we always get answers. And if we think we're right about something you always want us to prove it.
"When we get in the 9th grade, our teachers/professors might not help us. It will only be up to us."
"To show us how we can accomplish anything on our own. And to show that we need you because you show us everything that we need to know."
That weekend, I got an e-mail from a really, really bright student. It said:
Ms. J,
You have been one of the best teachers I've had here @ ________... You always make me think OUTSIDE the box and you make the most BORING subjects interesting and fun to learn. That's why I love your class...
Thanks for being such an awesome teacher,
Jessica
Jessica
Let's just say.... Miss J is back.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
A Pear
"Hey, hey, Cafeteria Lady, can I have another pear?" William asks, giant, dopey grin on his face.
She rolls her eyes, but can't help but smile.
"Yeeees, you can have a pear."
William, all lumbering six feet of him, leaps awkwardly from his table, and grabs two.
"One!" The cafeteria lady calls.
He looks at me, holding both pears in one hand, grins.
"A pair!" he beams. Then looks at me and taps his forehead with one free finger. "Common sense!"
She rolls her eyes, but can't help but smile.
"Yeeees, you can have a pear."
William, all lumbering six feet of him, leaps awkwardly from his table, and grabs two.
"One!" The cafeteria lady calls.
He looks at me, holding both pears in one hand, grins.
"A pair!" he beams. Then looks at me and taps his forehead with one free finger. "Common sense!"
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Barbie Doll Posse and Big J
At lunch duty last week:
William: Hey, Miss J! Want to be in my new gang?
Me: No.
William: Aww, why not? It's called the Barbie Dolls.
Me: Oh! In that case.... No.
William: (Looking slightly pained) Why not?!
Me: Do I look like a Barbie doll to you?
William: Do I?
Me: Point taken. Still no.
William: Okay. We need to have a secret handshake then. Ready?
High five, then hands arcing down and slap, back up and hitting the back of our hands slap!, arms at 90 degree angles and slice!
So, now we do this constantly. Because we are BOTH 14. And awesome.
And, due to my enormity, (or, actually, due to the fact that I told a kid that instead of writing my name on a paper, just write "a big J") he now refers to me as such.
It's no longer "Miss J" but "Big J". Cuz, you know. I'm so money.
Like. A half a peso.
Maaaan. I am going to MISS THIS KID.
William: Hey, Miss J! Want to be in my new gang?
Me: No.
William: Aww, why not? It's called the Barbie Dolls.
Me: Oh! In that case.... No.
William: (Looking slightly pained) Why not?!
Me: Do I look like a Barbie doll to you?
William: Do I?
Me: Point taken. Still no.
William: Okay. We need to have a secret handshake then. Ready?
High five, then hands arcing down and slap, back up and hitting the back of our hands slap!, arms at 90 degree angles and slice!
So, now we do this constantly. Because we are BOTH 14. And awesome.
And, due to my enormity, (or, actually, due to the fact that I told a kid that instead of writing my name on a paper, just write "a big J") he now refers to me as such.
It's no longer "Miss J" but "Big J". Cuz, you know. I'm so money.
Like. A half a peso.
Maaaan. I am going to MISS THIS KID.
Answer: A Little Salty
After school, Ms. C (the 8th grade math teacher), Jose (a kid who never wants to go home) and I were walking back into the building after duty. Information you need for this to be funny? My boyfriend aka flame of eternal hotness aka teacher of the year nominee aka 7th grade math teacher's last name is of a specific element on the periodic table known as Ag. Aka: Silver.
Jose: (totally out of the blue) Miss J what does Silver taste like?
Me: WHAT?!
(Ms. C starts to speed up so she can't make eye contact, and I swear, lets out a little snort of glee)
Jose: I mean, you told us how people bite into gold on cartoons and stuff to see if it was real. But you never told us what silver tasted like.
Me: How would I know that, Jose? (the accidental double entendre is killing me, killing me! I start to make funny noises so I don't laugh.)
Jose: Shrugs. I dunno. You know everything.
Me: Go home, Jose. (Oh god, I can't lie! I can't tell him I don't know...)
Jose goes home.
Ms. C: (gleam in her eye, huge grin on her face) So, what does Silver taste like? I'm dying to know.
Me: Shut up.
We both explode with laughter and thank the Buddha our kids aren't more observant.
Jose: (totally out of the blue) Miss J what does Silver taste like?
Me: WHAT?!
(Ms. C starts to speed up so she can't make eye contact, and I swear, lets out a little snort of glee)
Jose: I mean, you told us how people bite into gold on cartoons and stuff to see if it was real. But you never told us what silver tasted like.
Me: How would I know that, Jose? (the accidental double entendre is killing me, killing me! I start to make funny noises so I don't laugh.)
Jose: Shrugs. I dunno. You know everything.
Me: Go home, Jose. (Oh god, I can't lie! I can't tell him I don't know...)
Jose goes home.
Ms. C: (gleam in her eye, huge grin on her face) So, what does Silver taste like? I'm dying to know.
Me: Shut up.
We both explode with laughter and thank the Buddha our kids aren't more observant.
Next Year's Goals
Things I need to focus on for next year:
1. Linking science with literacy more efficiently and more effectively.
2. Teaching my kids how to write good questions so they can think more critically.
3. Involving current events more.
4. Creating an after school club so I can go to Africa. (More on that later)
5. Integrating more games.
6. Doing some sort of fund raiser to get more money for science materials.
1. Linking science with literacy more efficiently and more effectively.
2. Teaching my kids how to write good questions so they can think more critically.
3. Involving current events more.
4. Creating an after school club so I can go to Africa. (More on that later)
5. Integrating more games.
6. Doing some sort of fund raiser to get more money for science materials.
Featuring: Brytonn
I have a little pistol named Brytonn in my 7/8th period class. He's darker than night, sharper than a katana blade, and hilarious. We've developed quite the working relationship. One day, a teacher from another school was watching me to see if he wanted to teach 7 or 8th grade science next year. I think I scandalized him.
Me: Brytonn, give me the Sharpie.
Brytonn: Awwww, c'mon, Miss J.
Me: (rolling eyes) Hand it over. You know they're not allowed. Too many dufuses tagging in the bathroom.
Brytonn: But... but what if I want to write a note on MYSELF later?
Me: Aww, come on Brytonn. You know you won't be able to see that anyway.
Class: BUUUUUURN!
Brytonn: You're racist.
Me: Oh yeah. Big time. Obviously. Without a doubt. Totally racist. Still gotta gimme the Sharpie though.
Brytonn: Shoot.
Today, some of the kids were teaching, and I was being a student (and ooooooh boy was THAT fun. I played tic-tac-toe, wrote notes, slept.... heh heh heh) and tried to figure Brytonn out once more.
Brytonn: Mbbbbrrrzzzzttt!
Me: What.... was that?
Brytonn: Oh. Miss J. I mean, Brittany. Since you're a student now and all. I didn't see you there.
Me: Uh huh. What's with the noise?
Brytonn: (looking mock confused) Oh. That? Yeah. I was receiving transmission.
Me: From?
Brytonn: Mars. Obviously.
Me: Obviously. I didn't know you were a Martian. I thought you were just from Africa.
Brytonn: Oh no. I'm from Mars, planet beyond the stars, we drive space cars. You can come and visit-- it's not that far. We have all sorts of galaxy games, I'm better than lil' Wayne. Don't got Chris Brown, we got Chris Get-Outta-Town. Don't got Lil' Waybe, we got Lil' Pain. Hooray for today on Mars. You can come visit me, I'll lend you my space car. I can rhyme all the time, its not a crime... on Mars. I'm a Martian monkey, kinda funky, my tail looks like an extra hand but it's not, send me up your best astronaut. Hooray for today on Mars.
Brtzzzzzzzzt! Oh oh! Time to go home. I'm OUT, Miss J.
Me: Have fun on the red planet.
Me: Brytonn, give me the Sharpie.
Brytonn: Awwww, c'mon, Miss J.
Me: (rolling eyes) Hand it over. You know they're not allowed. Too many dufuses tagging in the bathroom.
Brytonn: But... but what if I want to write a note on MYSELF later?
Me: Aww, come on Brytonn. You know you won't be able to see that anyway.
Class: BUUUUUURN!
Brytonn: You're racist.
Me: Oh yeah. Big time. Obviously. Without a doubt. Totally racist. Still gotta gimme the Sharpie though.
Brytonn: Shoot.
Today, some of the kids were teaching, and I was being a student (and ooooooh boy was THAT fun. I played tic-tac-toe, wrote notes, slept.... heh heh heh) and tried to figure Brytonn out once more.
Brytonn: Mbbbbrrrzzzzttt!
Me: What.... was that?
Brytonn: Oh. Miss J. I mean, Brittany. Since you're a student now and all. I didn't see you there.
Me: Uh huh. What's with the noise?
Brytonn: (looking mock confused) Oh. That? Yeah. I was receiving transmission.
Me: From?
Brytonn: Mars. Obviously.
Me: Obviously. I didn't know you were a Martian. I thought you were just from Africa.
Brytonn: Oh no. I'm from Mars, planet beyond the stars, we drive space cars. You can come and visit-- it's not that far. We have all sorts of galaxy games, I'm better than lil' Wayne. Don't got Chris Brown, we got Chris Get-Outta-Town. Don't got Lil' Waybe, we got Lil' Pain. Hooray for today on Mars. You can come visit me, I'll lend you my space car. I can rhyme all the time, its not a crime... on Mars. I'm a Martian monkey, kinda funky, my tail looks like an extra hand but it's not, send me up your best astronaut. Hooray for today on Mars.
Brtzzzzzzzzt! Oh oh! Time to go home. I'm OUT, Miss J.
Me: Have fun on the red planet.
I could not even make this apology up.
An actual apology letter written from one of my students to another. Words are exact. Even those in parentheses. Apostrophes have been removed from non-possessive words to stop you from going mad. Names have been changed to protect my obviously darling students.
Jose Gonzales
I'm sorry for telling you that your dad t-bags you and you suck it all up. Though you provoked me by saying you did (screwed) my mom, which is in no case funny just annoying. I will try to control my behavior a little better and my situations. I don't understand why the both of us didn't get into trouble but this is how life is. I go to school to be a student as well as you do. Not to make jokes and play. I come for the education. If you or I are ruining the chances we should be stopped. I will try harder in my quest for knowledge and again, I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
Thomas Anderson
Where do I even begin?
Jose Gonzales
I'm sorry for telling you that your dad t-bags you and you suck it all up. Though you provoked me by saying you did (screwed) my mom, which is in no case funny just annoying. I will try to control my behavior a little better and my situations. I don't understand why the both of us didn't get into trouble but this is how life is. I go to school to be a student as well as you do. Not to make jokes and play. I come for the education. If you or I are ruining the chances we should be stopped. I will try harder in my quest for knowledge and again, I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
Thomas Anderson
Where do I even begin?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)